The best gift a dad can give
Maybe you are like me, a new dad feeling overwhelmed by the amount of stuff your family is collecting.
Does your child’s bedroom look like a Toys’R’Us exploded? Are you getting worried that soon even your garage won’t be able to close?
If you are feeling overwhelmed, I can tell you that your child feels overwhelmed too, but doesn’t have the words or insight to be able to express it.
This Christmas instead of more stuff, I encourage you to consider giving in a different way. Please hear me out. I am not against toys. I love toys. I walk into a toy store and feel like a kid again. A big smile immediately crosses my face and I want to spend hours building the Star Wars Millennium Falcon with LEGO blocks.
However, the truth is kids can get overwhelmed with too much stuff. Buying just to buy has become a Christmas tradition.
But should it be? Are we setting our kids at a disadvantage and stifling their creativity by giving them too much?
During the holidays I’ve sat and watched kids float from gift to gift, spending a minute or two at each, without much interest or engagement. Let’s be honest. Kids are often more fascinated by an empty cardboard box than by whatever was inside it. One solution at Christmas is to have a clean out.
For every gift you are given, you must give one away. This applies to mom and dad as well. There are a lot of great local charities in Niagara that accept donations. Sometimes we fall into the trap of only wanting to give things away if they are broken, torn or stained.
I was inspired by a blog post titled, “Dear World: Let’s Stop Giving Our Crap to the Poor.” Google it.
When we give our best, we are living our best. If you are struggling with the amount of stuff your family is acquiring, another option is to give the gift of time. Maybe you’re not ready to abandon the idea of giving toys and things completely. That’s OK. Perhaps this column will inspire you to make some of your gifts the gift of time, which is more valuable than anything you can buy off the shelf. Here are a few options for dads to consider:
• Time with you – young children need you to focus completely on them. We can be so distracted, and it takes discipline to put the cell phone away and be present with your children. Experiential gifts can be a lot of fun, such as:
• Reading a new book together
• Game, puzzle and crafts day
• Children’s museum trip
• Dinner date with mommy and daddy
• Scavenger hunt
• Register your child for an activity run by the city library or YMCA. For younger kids, most activities require an adult to be involved, so you can participate together.
Note: Time is a great gift idea for grandparents to give as well. It’s a win/ win because it’s not only a gift for the child, but also for the parent.
• Focus on others - if your kids are a bit older and you want to focus on the true meaning of Christmas, make it a time to teach your family about the needs of others. Use your family time to make someone else’s life better. A motto could be “Spend less. Give more.” Maybe one of the following ideas will connect to a cause you are already passionate about:
•‘ Adopt a Family’ from Community Care. You could do this together, and let your kids help with shopping for the family you select.
• Serve dinner together as volunteers at an Out of the Cold homeless shelter.
• ‘ Adopt a Soldier’ from the Canadian Armed Forces. Find a soldier to adopt over the holidays. Have your kids send them a letter overseas along with a care package.
• All babies deserve a good start in life. Host a ‘ diaper drive’ to benefit a local organization that provides diapers and baby wipes to low- income families.
• Make a bunch of Christmas cookies with your kids and deliver them to your neighbours.
• Invite a guest into your home for dinner. There are many people without a family this Christmas. You might know a widow, a single mom or dad, a single person, or an international student who you can invite into your home for a meal over the holidays. You can be the family they don’t have.
In summary, my fellow dads, there’s nothing wrong with toys ( or playing inside cardboard boxes). This year let’s just consider cutting back on the stuff, and find creative ways to give something more valuable than things – our time and love.
Marty Mako is a health promoter with Niagara Region Public Health, and volunteers locally with United Way, YMCA of Niagara, Out of the Cold, Lincoln County Humane Society and the City of St. Catharines heritage advisory committee. He’s also a proud dad. Marty can be reached at marty_ mako@ hotmail. com.