The realities of office romances
Workplace relationships do happen, but there are also risks involved
The red roses are long dead and the chocolate devoured, but you can bet there’s still romance hanging around the office.
Valentine’s Day may have ignited some workplace heat, adding a dash of romance to the daily grind. Workplace dating has been around forever but recent stats report it’s hit a 10- year low. It appears the # MeToo campaign is splashing cold water on the sizzle, and people are being more cautious.
Only 36 per cent of workers said they have dated a co- worker, reports a CareerBuilder survey — that’s down from 41 per cent last year.
Ideally, romance would not take place in the office but that’s a pretty tall order, says clinical psychologist Barbara Greenberg.
“If you are thinking about getting involved in an office romance or already are, proceed if you must with caution. Things can deteriorate pretty quickly once, and if, the relationship goes awry.”
We’re in challenging times and think twice before blurring the lines between professional and personal!
“If you want to take this risk, and let’s be clear it is a risk, at a minimum you need to think carefully about what power you hold that someone else doesn’t. Not just are you their supervisor ( an automatic no), but are you a position to negatively impact their career, or even how comfortable they feel in their day?” says Torontobased sexuality educator Heather Elizabeth. Too often people put their desire over someone else’s comfort.
Think about the consequences of the relationship going badly, and think about social power, too, says Elizabeth. Sexist stereotypes mean that even when the attraction is mutual and respectful women who date their coworkers will be treated different then men.
“I’m hesitant to say it never works out, but I will often say the risk outweighs the reward and likely there are options out there that don’t pose the same ethical dilemmas!”
So should workplace romance be banned? Even in the # MeToo era, bans on office romance are a no go, says Toronto employment lawyer and mediator Stuart Rudner.
“To me, it’s ridiculous to try to ban workplace relationships. Not only is there no legal basis for it, but it’s not possible in practice to enforce it,” Rudner says. “Work is where we spend the bulk of our time and is a big part of our social networks so it’s inevitable that it will lead to physical or intimate relationships from time to time.”
Companies need to have clear policies regarding conflict of interest as well as harassment, says Rudner. For example, when a romance develops between a manager and a direct subordinate, company policy should require that the people involved must report it, or risk discipline and possible dismissal.
Although there’s nothing inherently wrong with having an office relationship, says Rudner. Often co- worker jealousy or suspicion of favourable treatment will rear its ugly head, and there can be major fallout if things sour.