Scars you can’t see are the deepest
New mission of constable burned in Vineland case to raise awareness of PTSD in first responders
Phil Sheldon’s physical strength is returning, bit by bit, day by day. The improvement is dramatic from where he was 2½ years ago.
The veteran Niagara Regional Police officer has travelled a long and winding road since he nearly lost his life trying to rescue a woman trapped in a murder-suicide with her son.
There are good days — like when he received the highest civilian medal for bravery in Canada. And there are bad days when his injuries and posttraumatic stress disorder can turn his life into a battle to overcome obstacles — one after another.
He has also found a perfect vehicle to address some of those obstacles, and reanimate his life with purpose and a desire to give back to the community. That’s why he became a cop in the first place.
Sheldon is putting together a support team to help him compete and fund-raise for the Spartan Warrior Race in Toronto on June 24. The team is called Refuse to Lose. The race will offer him a chance to raise awareness and funds for the treatment of PTSD.
The event features natural and man-made obstacles specifically designed to test the body and the mind. Competitors climb, lift, crawl, roll, carry, swim and run as they traverse the course.
He said what caught his eye was a fire jump — competitors leap over a knee-high pile of burning wooden poles ignited by organizers using an accelerant. It creates a small waist-
high wall of smoke and fire.
That thought rendered the reporter speechless, at least momentarily. “Really? Fire?”
“The race is kind of a leap of faith for me,” Sheldon said. “It allows me to raise awareness. I want people to know just because someone looks fine as far as their physical health goes, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t suffering from PTSD. I am.
“I’m getting counselling, but I have nightmares and flashbacks. There is this constant level of anxiety and stress, but when I saw a commercial for a Spartan Warrior Race, I thought it was something I could do.”
On July 5, 2015, at about 7:15 p.m., a police dispatcher sent Sheldon and his partner to a home on Epp Street in Vineland on a mental health call. Sheldon has been with the NRP since 2009. There was nothing special about the call.
However, when Sheldon arrived, he heard screams from inside the house where he encountered a 50-year-old man standing beside his wheelchairbound mother. Gasoline had been splashed everywhere.
The man looked Sheldon in the eye and then dropped his lighter. There was no warning. He had no expression.
As fire engulfed the room, Sheldon attempted to rescue the woman, but slipped and slid through the burning gasoline on the floor.
He escaped the home but was on fire. Somehow he survived. The man and his elderly mother didn’t. Sheldon’s ordeal was just beginning.
He suffered burns to 62 per cent of his body. He was in a medically-induced coma for a month, then endured a series of skin grafts, blood transfusions and surgeries. He hasn’t been back to work since.
The medal ceremony in Toronto helped him move forward in his recovery. As Governor General Julie Pyette presented him with his medal, it was a reminder that one part of his journey was coming to an end, but he still has miles to travel.
What happened on that warm July day in 2015 will be a part of Sheldon forever. He has now realizes he needs to make sense of it — and find meaning where possible. He knows it won’t be easy.
“I want to speak out for all the first responders who suffer in silence,’ Sheldon said.
“I can talk about it now. I want people to know it is OK. It happens. Let’s make people aware we are not robots.”