Selfish people cannot succeed at marriage
There is story told about a Sunday school teacher who had just finished a lesson on the Ten Commandments. To test the students she asked, “If Johnny’s father told him not to pull his dog’s tail and Johnny did not listen and pulled the dog’s tail, what commandment did Johnny break?” A young girl who had just been at a wedding the day before answered the teacher, “I heard this yesterday. I am not sure what number it is, but I think it goes like this: What God has put together, let nobody pull apart.”
One week ago many around the world heard the Archbishop of Canterbury say to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle after their vows, “Those whom God has joined together, let no one put asunder.” The Royal Wedding was celebrated in St. George's Chapel at Windsor Castle in an hour-long ceremony that was filled with tradition and beauty. One of the highlights of the celebration was the wedding reflection given by Bishop Michael Curry. He offered a very passionate discourse on both the meaning and power of love.
In the First Letter of John, we read: “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love” (1 John 4:7-8). This scripture passage teaches us that God, who is love, helps us to love one another. Here we find the essence of Christian marriage.
It seems reasonable that if you want something to grow then you need to find what gives it life. If a man and woman want their love to grow, then they should go to the source of all love and that is God. Marriage takes something that is good and is able to make it even better. Marital love is united with Divine Love.
Last Saturday millions of people witnessed a bride and groom make a public vow “to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” This exchange was done before God and it clearly demonstrates that marriage requires giving the gift of oneself to the other. Two selfish people cannot make this offering.
In Christian marriage a husband and wife have surrendered their individual lives so that together they can become one in the Lord. There is a need to ‘die to self ’ so that they can become one in mind and heart. This requires sacrifice which is often difficult. Only love can make it easy; and perfect love can make it a joy.
Jesus offers a parable in the Gospel of St. Matthew (Mt.7:2427) about a man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew, but the house did not fall because it was built on rock. Another man built his house on sand. The rain, floods and wind came and the house collapsed because it was built on sand. It did not have a good foundation.
When a husband and wife have Christ as the foundation of their marriage, they are given the support to weather the storms of life. In times of doubt, their faith in each other will be strengthened by their faith in God. Their love for one another will also deepen as they enter into the mystery of God who is love.
The Royal Wedding has helped to put the beauty and truth about Christian marriage before the world. Let us all be grateful for the power and mystery of love!