Let’s talk about anxiety
Teenager Sophia Krause shares her journey with generalized anxiety to encourage other kids to speak out
She was voted class president, and played the lead female role of Wendy in her school’s production of Peter Pan. She’s danced on stage, pitched in championship softball tournaments and participated in public speaking competitions.
She does well in school and is a self-described perfectionist.
And then, slowly, the people closest to 13-year-old Sophia Krause started noticing changes in her behaviour.
At school, her teachers remarked that she seemed to isolate herself and didn’t sit with classmates.It is there. took a minute to figure out what you meant by print version. but the field for quote name didn’t apear so the type is all the same. do i add all three at the same time and then type them in?
At home, her parents were concerned because she was barely sleeping at night. And she’d go from thinking about nothing, to worrying about everything. She would drum her fingers and crack her knuckles.
Sophia didn’t understand what was happening to her either. She was worried. Afraid. Embarrassed. She started feeling unexplained, sudden waves of panic. Her breathing became fast and shallow and the palms of her hands broke out in beads of sweat. And she’d break down in tears for no definable reason.
In the words of her mother, Carolee Krause: “She started to implode on herself.”
One day, on a sleepover trip to Toronto with a good friend, she started to cry in the hotel room. She had been having a good time shopping. She didn’t miss home. She wanted to be there. And yet she couldn’t stop crying.
“We sat on the bed and had a group hug,” she says. “I felt terrible. I felt like I’d ruined the trip.”
The feelings were intense, and then eventually gone. “You can be in full panic mode and then completely fine,” says the St. Catharines teen.
And what confused her most was that it seemed so random. She didn’t understand why she was so upset.
“It should have been the funnest thing ever,” she says.
Her parents were confused, and worried, too. Her behaviour seemed beyond the normal teenage hormones and school stress. Or was it?
Sophia was unable to explain what she was feeling. “I would put my arm around her. But we couldn’t figure if she needed to be alone or surrounded by people,” says Carolee.
“The struggle to articulate was one of the biggest hurdles.”
Eventually, she was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, excessive worry around a number of everyday problems.
At first, she didn’t tell even her closest friends. “She perceived it as a sign of weakness and they’re all supposed to be invincible,” said Carolee.
Eventually, she shared her story with friends who all supported her without judgment, so she built up confidence to talk about anxiety in the community.
Sophia knows there are other young people affected by anxiety and is telling her story in hopes of starting a conversation about mental health. As a classroom project, she researched and wrote a book on strategies to manage anxiety. She presented it to the senior students at her school and classes through Pathstone Mental Health.
According to Children’s Mental Health Ontario, more than 60 per cent of youth in the province report having had concerns about their level of anxiety. Half of the parents in the province says they’ve had concerns about their children’s level of anxiety.
One third of parents have had a child miss school due to anxiety and one quarter of parents have missed work to care for a child with anxiety.
The most common reason for referrals to Pathstone Mental Health is anxiety or anxious behaviours, says Bill Helmeczi, Director of Mental Health.
Often, parents have noticed uncharacteristic behaviours — sadness that doesn’t go away, and a reluctance to be with friends or take part in activities they used to enjoy.
Schools have also likely noticed changes too.
Teens might isolate themselves socially; in class they don’t contribute to group work and in free time, they don’t hang out with friends.
While it can be different talking to your teen, he suggests guiding a conversation with open-ended questions. “You and so-and-so used to be good friends. You haven’t seen him much lately …”
And call for help sooner than later.
Anxiety is an uncomfortable feeling that something bad is going to happen, says Ayda Tekok-Kilic, associate professor of Child and Youth Studies at Brock University.
Worrisome thoughts are part of anxiety, but there’s also real, physiological responses — sweating, racing heart, dry mouth, feeling dizzy, flushed or having a foggy mind.
It can feel as if danger is imminent, she says.
And it can severely impact a person’s life. “If you’re feeling apprehension all the time it’s very debilitating,” she says.
“It will be a broken record in your mind all the time. And to do something productive in your day, you have to suppress anxiety. It’s tiring.”
While it’s normal to worry, people prone to anxiety can’t seem to distract themselves from ruminating on troubling thoughts.
Her research has supported the understanding that people plagued by worrisome thoughts are less efficient. It seems the troubling thoughts invades the space reserved for short-term working memory and the person takes longer to perform a task.
One of her research projects involves using EEG
technology in the Developmental Neuroscience Lab. By monitoring brain activity, she studies how people who are sensitive to anxiety detect threats, and how they process the information. Do they push it aside with other thoughts, or do the keep thinking about the threat?
While being susceptible to anxiety can be part biological, it can also be learned. And unlearned. “We can learn protective skills,” she says.
It’s a complex issue, but in simple terms giving children skills in self-regulation, self-calming strategies, helping them to tolerate new and uncertain situations and teaching them coping skills as they face life challenges can all help.
Sophia is more in tune with calming strategies. She pets her cat. Listens to music. Or facetimes a friend. She understands that talking about feelings is OK and can help too.
Sometimes a cup of tea is good. In Grade 6, her homeroom teacher made a pot of tea for the class every Friday. The kids sat at their desks with the lights off, breathing and drinking tea.
She also enjoys the process of making cake in a mug.
Sometimes, engaging in a comfortable, routine task is calming in a meditative way, she says.
She wants people to understand that anxiety is a real, legitimate feeling.
PATHSTONE MENTAL HEALTH
If you want to get help from Pathstone call Contact Niagara for a direct referral: 905-684-3407
If you are in crisis and need help immediately call, any time (24/7): 1-800-263-4944
WALK-IN CLINIC
Walk-in mental health counselling is available for children and youth, and their parents/caregivers, at the Branscombe Mental Health Centre, 1338 Fourth Ave., St. Catharines every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, from 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (The last appointment is at 3:30 p.m.)
No cost. No appointment is necessary. And no health card is required.
Single sessions, one-on-one. Youths ages six to 17 can simply walk in if they are feeling sad, worried or angry; having fights with parents; being bullied; dealing with a personal issue; feeling like you might hurt yourself; suffering because someone has hurt you; getting in trouble at school, home or in the community; feeling like you are being treated unfairly.
Parents can also use the walk-in clinic for children younger than six if they are concerned about child-related ages and stages, are constantly arguing with their child or are worried about their child’s social and emotional challenges.
We sat on the bed and had a group hug. I felt terrible. I felt like I’d ruined the trip.”
SOPHIA KRAUSE
Student author