Self-care is not selfish

A look at caregivers’ perceptions of Niagara’s respite services

Caregivers (or the more recently the preferred term is “care partners”), are everywhere.

I believe it was Rosalynn Carter, former U.S. first lady, who said it best: “There are four kinds of people in the world: Those who have been caregivers; those who currently are caregivers; those who will be caregivers; and those who will need caregivers.”

So many of our care partners here in Niagara struggle with balancing the demands placed on them. What is even more apparent is that many care partners reach out for support like “respite services” when they are already overtaxed and exhausted. Our hope is that we catch care partners sooner, in order to assist them with self-care earlier. This will help them continue to provide care longer and not burn out.

Based on the most recent research interviews and focus groups conducted through the Seniors Services department at the Niagara Region, it is apparent that care partners often are focused on looking for services for their loved ones as opposed to themselves.

Therefore, they look for support using terms such as “senior services”, “help with looking after parent” or “caring for an elderly parent”. The findings also suggest that not all caregivers may identify with the term ‘caregiver’.

The perception of many care partners is that looking after this person is their job, something they have to do, because of their relationship to, or love for this person.

“There are so many different kinds of respite, … in home, at the long-term care home, at the adult day programs, so I don’t think caregivers are aware of the options that there are, or even what the word respite means.” –focus group contributor

Once caregivers accept the need for, and seek services they may be faced with the following six barriers to acceptance and use of services.

awareness of what respite services are available

recognition on the part of the caregivers that they can’t do it all alone

agreement to service from the person requiring care perceived quality of the service cost of the service flexibility of service

The discussions with caregivers served to remind them that in order to look after someone else they have to look after themselves and let go of their sense of guilt in taking time away from their perceived obligation to be available 24/7.

A care partner with the Respite Companion Program at the Niagara Region quoted Eleanor Brown who believed that, “Selfcare is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel,” which can certainly resonate with everyone.

Seniors Community Programs is a department within Seniors Services at the Niagara Region. We offer a variety of non-clinical programs designed to improve safety, independence and quality of life. Some of these programs can be used as a source of respite from the care partner role. If you or someone you know is looking for support or information about services across the region for older adults and their care partners, then we’d love to hear from you! For more information about these and other community programs and services, please call: 905 984-2621 or visit our website: www.niagararegion.ca/seniors.