‘Tis the season for gifts from the heart

JUST THIS MORNING I received a thoughtful email from a fellow hunter who came up with a fantastic Christmas gift for his spouse.

Attached to the email was a photo of what presumably will be the last wife he will ever have wearing a set of homemade earrings that were constructed with genuine wild turkey beards. As you can imagine, this lucky woman had a surprised, almost stunned, look on her face – as was befitting. After all, both beards were at least 10 inches long.

If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.

Clearly, this is a great gift idea that rivals the tried and true classics such as matching moose hoof ashtrays or the deer tail doorbell cover or even the famous deer antler toilet paper roll holder. And it’s obviously one that the spouse of every outdoors person is sure to cherish.

But, before you give a special gift like this, you have to ask yourself the

simple question: Is it too extravagant?

Well, that clearly depends on the woman and the event.

I’m not a fashion expert but I think I can say with some certainty that it’s overly fancy for a demolition derby yet not too overstated for a lower-tier NASCAR race. For the former, a woman would do well with a subtle, turkey spur necklace or perhaps a goose tail feather hanging jauntily from her ball cap.

Then again, some women could easily pull off wearing turkey earrings at a wild game dinner.

The point here is hunting is not only about the experience or meat. There are many other benefits, including being able to give your loved one a gift that comes straight from the heart.

I ask you, what woman would not want her very own stylish snow shovel made from the antler of a 50-plus inch bull moose? With the right amount of duct tape and the screws placed just so, it might be that gift that finally leaves her speechless.

I was discussing these outdoorsy gift themes with my own special someone the other day and she cautioned me against doing so – several times in fact.

That’s just like her, though. She has never been one to draw undue attention to herself with elegant baubles like the bear claw back scratcher I made her two Christmases ago. Between you and me, I think having a treasure like this around the house makes her more than a bit nervous. Why else would she have hidden it in the crawlspace?

I know she considers it a treasure. I still remember her exact words when I gave it to her. She whispered, “Wow! This is price- less. Truly @#!$ priceless.”

And while that was mostly true, her estimation did not take into account the fifty cents worth of Gorilla glue I used to affix the claws.

Look, we all know it’s too late for us to up our games when it comes to Christmas presents this year. But it’s certainly not too late to be planning for next year. Whether you intend on giving something fun like a deer rib magazine rack or a token of your affection such as earrings made primarily of bird parts, I think it’s fair to say that you should not skimp on quality. For the love of God, get the best animal parts you can.

After all this might be the gift that changes everything. More than that it might mean getting something equally precious back. I know my partner told me that if I did this, she’d probably give me a hoof in return.