Stone-cold approach to competitive fishing

MANY RIVER ANGLERS KNOW about how to find fish, where to position themselves for the perfect drift, what flies or lures to use, how to wade quietly, how to cast and a slew of other things that will help them catch fish. Few know the secret to getting to the best spot ahead of their fishing buddy, however. It is gravel. If you are an angler with a competitive streak, gravel is your best friend.

And all it takes is a few perfect pieces.

That piece should be small, pointy, hard to see and just the right size to slip into your buddy’s waders or wader boot. You don’t want something too big or gaudy, otherwise it will be easily found.

I prefer to drop the piece of gravel into my friend’s waders or wader boots when he or she decides to step off into the woods to answer nature’s call. Then, when they return, I begin donning my own waders.

If you do it right, your friend will not know he has a sharp piece of gravel in his waders until he has taken his second or third step towards the river. Then, he will curse, go back to the car and remove his waders,

empty the boot out and return to the river. If you have planned things right, he will then find one in the other boot a few steps later and go through the process again.

By the time he finally steps in the river, you should probably be taking a selfie with your third or fourth trout. And that’s when you should welcome him to fish your spot – and while you are patting him on the back, drop in your last piece of gravel down his waders.

This last one should be small enough to infiltrate its way to the boot. That’s important because if a stone too big drops down into his boot via the back of his waders, your buddy might ask to call the trip short due to an “emergency.” You don’t want that. You want him to be annoyed not alarmed.

This last one is a slow burn.

Depending on how many fish you have already caught, your buddy might fish with that little pebble irritating him for an hour or so. Eventually, however, he will step on shore remove his waders, and remove that piece of gravel.

Now is the time to act concerned, so go on over – and, just after he dumps his waders, drop in yet another tiny, jagged piece of gravel.

This is risky, but if you do manage to get away with it – for the fourth time – your friend just might try to fish without waders – which is also fun to watch in a cold trout stream. Not to brag, but I’m so good at this that I’ve had buddies try to sell me their really expensive waders for a discount rate on the spot.

Most will begin that pitch by saying the waders they have worn all year are suddenly the wrong size, when you both actually know they have something jagged inside that is causing annoyance.

That’s when you find what a jerk your fishing buddy really is, by the way.

The point is all it takes is a bit of gravel to turn a good fishing day into a great one. Just be careful you don’t get caught. You don’t want your buddy to give you the boot.