Taking a shot, spindly antlers and all

THIS MORNING I WOKE up and did what I’m fairly sure every person in Ontario did. I called the Ministry of Natural Resources and Forestry hotline and checked to see if I was successful in the antlerless draw for deer.

I was not successful. I did not get a “doe tag.”

Let’s all stop here, take a deep breath and recognize the tragedy that has befallen us.

I did not get a game seal that permits me to harvest an antlerless deer this year – for the second year in a row, no less.

Thank you for your condolences.

But, honestly, it’s not that big a deal. Really it isn’t. I frequently go without antlerless tags.

All it means is that I will have to wait for a buck to come along this year, just like I did last year.

Frankly, I’m not worried about me at all. I filled my buck tag last year. I’ll do it again this year.

It’s the bucks I worry about.

Listen, as soon as the bucks of Ontario get wind of this, the remainder of their year is going to be hell.

“OMG! Galea is going to

hunt us this year,” they’ll say.

And then the huge trophy bucks will laugh, chime in and respond, “I think you mean Galea is going to hunt you. We’re completely safe.” And this is true. Some hunters specialize in taking big trophy bucks, but I happen to think that this is far too cliché. That’s why, when I hunt bucks, I typically only focus on the mediocre ones, with antlers six spindly points or smaller.

Right now, you can be sure that the word is getting out wherever small bucks with twig-like antlers gather. There’s probably a general anxiety that is now passing through their ranks as each immediately races to a place where they can find nutritious food that have the minerals designed to increase antler growth quickly. For they know that if they are to be missed or alerted by some bonehead move I pull on a hunt, it will be because they have a remarkable set of antlers.

A good set of antlers is insurance against wearing any tag I have in my wallet, and all deer know this.

All you have to do is look at the deer I have tagged over the years to see this. The only truly big-antlered deer I have ever shot was in Saskatchewan and that’s because these rules do not apply outside the province. Also, not to make excuses, but it was an honest mistake on my part.

I like hunting smaller bucks for the simple reason that, unlike bigger bucks, they always walk by me first. Make no mistake, however, shooting a small buck with antlers that do not impress anyone in the least, is no easy matter. For one thing, their bodies are smaller so they present a tougher target.

For another thing, they typically walk just ahead of the huge trophy buck I never see until after I have taken the shot and hit the smaller buck in the vitals. Again, that’s not easy for anyone.

Look, I’m not saying that I am happy I didn’t get an antlerless tag. In truth, I would have preferred one since that would have allowed me not to be so selective.

But the truth is all the money in the world will not change this.

And this fall, I will have no doe.