Taking cold comfort in a classic winter

THIS WEEK THE WEATHER Network announced that we are in for a classic Canadian winter. That got me thinking, what exactly is a classic Canadian winter?

Well, I think it is the kind of winter that makes a person who just bought a snowblower very happy. Other people enjoy classic winters too. For instance, if you own a ski hill, a snowploughing company or snowmobile, a classic Canadian winter is something you dream of.

Well, that’s fine. But my classic winter involves ice fishing – which, I predict will one day be considered a certified mental disorder, especially, if you do it without the benefit of a hut, as I do. After all, ice fishing is a sport that basically involves sitting in the middle of nowhere, shivering, and looking down a hole.

This seems like a harsh assessment until you break it down into its main components.

First there is the walking or driving on ice part. I don’t think I need to tell you that most sane people

do their best to avoid ice when walking or driving.

This is why people make a good living throwing sand all over it. Honestly, there is only one acceptable way to cross ice – and that is on skates, either with a hockey stick in hand or alternately wearing a skin tight figure skating outfit. Ice anglers don’t do the former and though you might see ice anglers in tight and colourful snowmobile suits, the only time you will ever see an ice angler do a triple Lutz is when their power auger gets suddenly jammed mid-drill.

This brings us to the second important component of ice fishing – drilling random holes through a surface you do not want to fall through. Most structural engineers would tell you that you do not want to weaken a brittle structure you are standing on by drilling big holes through it or beating it with a spud. Especially when you are standing directly over the part you are weakening. Yet, this simple act is central to ice fishing. Think about that.

This brings us to the most ridiculous part of ice fishing – the ladling.

Honestly, the ladling wouldn’t be so bad if we ice anglers didn’t insist on having holes in our ladles. But we do, and the reason is so we can remove ice from the holes but leave the water behind – because you don’t want to transport it to the top of the ice where it might freeze and make the ice thicker and be returned to the lake in spring.

Lastly, there is the ice hut itself – the thing that takes an outdoors sport back indoors. Basically, the ice hut has a lot in common with an outhouse – not the least of which is the smell whenever angling buddies gather. Also, both are small shacks with benches and a hole or two in the floor. Despite the similarities, however, when you have to answer nature’s call, you typically have to spring 200 yards to shore.

All things considered, ice fishing is a lot of fun, though. When the fish are biting and the weather is nice, there is no better way to spend a classic Canadian winter day. And, if I am to be fair, I’d tell you almost any outdoors pastime would seem crazy if you broke it down to its basic components. And the truth is you have to consider all the components of ice fishing together to understand the hole thing.