The deer by moonlight thing is for the birds
IF THE SONG TITLE “Deer by Moonlight” has not yet been copyrighted by some old, romantic crooner, allow me to introduce the concept. For I can think of nothing more beautiful or serene than the sight I witnessed last night at midnight when I looked out our picture window and saw a young deer silhouetted before an untouched landscape of trees, moonbeams and freshly fallen snow. It was truly magical.
That’s one way of looking at it. The other way is to curse the darn animal for cleaning out a birdfeeder I had just filled.
It was at that moment I realized I have been had.
You see, up until then, I thought I was moving towards being declared some sort of patron saint to our local bird population by feeding them in their darkest times. At the very least, I imagined winning some sort of humanitarian award from the Audubon Society or Cornell University for keeping so many birds
well-fed through winter. The amount of bird seed I have bought this winter seemed to be ample proof of that.
Until I saw that deer, I had wondered how those few little chickadees could pack so much away in so short a time and still keep so trim – which is why I have also been working on “The Chickadee Diet and Exercise Program” infomercial that I thought was going to make me millions. (Spoiler alert – it’s basically flap your arms constantly, chirp, and eat all the birdseed you want.)
But, alas, it was this midnight raiding deer that was doing the damage all along.
This wouldn’t bother me so much if not for the fact that the birdseed I am using does not even represent so much as a minor snack to a deersized animal – so it’s hardly doing it any good and is in fact detrimental to the birds. Plus it costs $7.99 a bag, and my generosity towards wildlife only goes so far.
I guess I should have suspected the deer a couple of weeks ago when I started noticing its fresh tracks under the feeder each time I refilled it. But, gullible me, I thought the deer was just visiting to marvel at my compassionate efforts directed towards hungry winter birds. For the record, that’s what happens when you are exposed to too much Bambi in your childhood.
What threw me off was that the chickadees, nuthatches and woodpeckers still were still visiting the feeder during the day and, apparently, picking up all the seeds the deer could not eat. And now I know they were probably not as impressed with me as I thought.
The sad part is there is no way to clear up this misunderstanding since I am not very good at whistling. Unfortunately, this is the kind of thing that gets you a bad reputation with the local avian population. And, believe me, you definitely don’t want to get on their bad side.
It’s like being the person who gives out healthy snacks or apples at Halloween. I don’t expect my house to get egged but birds can do some pretty nasty things to your car.
To avoid this, I’m going to have to resign myself to buying enough feed for birds by day and deer by night. That should keep everyone happy – at least until the @#$! squirrels come along.