All the snow makes winter fun a shoe-in

As I write this, I am anticipating what could be the storm of the century – but enough about Valentine’s Day. We also have a lot of snow in the forecast.

If you ask me, a good snow storm is just what the doctor ordered. For without at least one good dump of snow each winter, I would have a hard time justifying my ongoing campaign for a dogsled, six huskies and a really cool nickname like “Yukon.”

That’s why I’m excited to hear that we might get as much as 35 centimetres of snow within the next day or two. This would mean that, for the first time ever, people would look at me and say, “Huh, you’re wearing snowshoes. What a smart idea!”

This, by the way, is a phrase that has been uttered less than half a dozen times since the invention of the snowshoe. And five of those incidents probably happened in the waiting rooms of American military doctors who were evaluating people who were trying to avoid the draft.

The point here is that with 35 centimetres of snow in the offing, snowshoes would not just be a failed fashion accessory or a prop to confirm mental instability. They would actually prove useful.

This is the greatest dream of every snowshoe owner. For each and every person who owns a set of snowshoes harbors a perverse fantasy in which he or she saves the town by using snowshoes to make it to “Doc’s place” to get medical supplies and provisions.

Somewhere along the way, the snowshoe wearer would outrun a pack of wolves, have a bare knuckle boxing match with a polar bear, develop a grudging mutual respect and friendship that will come in handy later, cross a questionable creek, build a lifesaving fire with half a match and rescue a comely heroine who was, for some reason, tied to the railway tracks. Needless to say, this is entirely implausible, primarily because our railway system is not what it used to be.

Nevertheless, most of us will still take the 35 centimetres of snow. After all, that’s the kind of snow that buries snow shovels, makes roads impassable, renders igloo building prudent and closes mountain passes. Put that way, I think we can all agree this is a glorious thing.

Even more important, whenever we get any large amounts of snow, we get an opportunity to explain to Americans what the centimetre amount equates to in