WHC COVID-19 COMMUNITY DIARIES
Sandra and Clint Rohr, St. Jacobs
We watched one of our favourite movies the other evening, Forrest Gump. We like his one-liner: “life is like a box of chocolates, you don’t know what you get until you bite into one.”
Life is like that for us these days as we navigate from day to day during the COVID-19 isolation. In particular, it is most difficult as we experience the death of loved ones. In addition to having had three friends die in the last 40 days, we also experienced the death of a sister/sister-in-law. Having had this experience, our empathy goes out to all who have had to cope with the death of a loved one, a family member or friend during these times.
We also feel for those who are doctors, nurses, personal support workers, spiritual care providers, funeral directors and staff, and especially those doing the cleaning of all care facilities. We deeply appreciate their above and beyond contributions during these difficult times.
Our family member lived in another province. With the technology skills of her daughter, we were able to fully participate and be present with her and her family during the time of her dying. Our sister/sister-in-law, with the support of her family, chose the time and place of her dying. The place was in her living room in a seniors’ residence, sitting in her favourite chair. The option of being isolated and alone during this time of COVID-19 and dying in a hospital room with only the medical team present would not suffice. Her choice was as she lived: in relationship with those she loved and held dear.
While being more than 2,000 kilometres away, Zoom with video connected us and her siblings with her, our nieces, nephew, their partners and many grand and great grand children. Conscious and alert, she reminisced and shared her love for each and every one of us, as we did with her. Being a person of deep faith, she had chosen a hymn, which we sung, and a favourite scripture for this special time in her life, the 23rd psalm.
As family, pastor and medical team, we experienced a sense of being totally present with each other. Emotionally, with heavy hearts and tears flowing , we shared a deep peace with her in her dying moments. Yes, she did die and she died within the warm embrace of the relationships and place that gave meaning to her full life.
COVID-19, as Forrest Gump would say, gave us this chocolate. We didn’t know what to expect when we bit into it. What we got, along with deep pain, was the gift of deep love within the context of the life giving dying of a compassionate person with whom we shared life and love for more than 78 years. This is just one more experience with a difference during a time we may call the tragic times of the COVID-19 virus. We cannot escape the reality that when we are willing to love deeply, we will also experience deep pain when we share the vulnerabilities of life with one another and our community.