Ready or not, here come the royals
Here’s my nightmare: The Duchess of Cambridge is outside the legislature, trying to feign interest in whatever Justin Trudeau is nattering on about, when she glances over his shoulder and sees me in the crowd.
“Blimey,” she gasps, “it’s Jack Knox. Can you introduce me?”
Sure, says JT, keeping that sunny ways smile plastered on his face but making a mental note to have me audited.
Next thing you know I’m babbling like a brook, bowing and scraping like Foghorn Leghorn pecking for the last kernel of corn in the barnyard, because like the rest of Canada I have no idea how to behave when approached by our Royal Family.
Ready or not, here they come. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, three-year-old Prince George and 16-month-old Princess Charlotte — making her international debut — begin their eight-day Victoria-based tour this afternoon.
For us, the biggest public event of the visit will be a 45-minute stop outside the legislature, beginning at 5:05 p.m. today when the visitors are greeted by dignitaries including Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his wife, Sophie Grégoire.
The glamour factor of such a meeting might result in Peak Internet, one of the reasons 500 members of the news media have been accredited to cover the visit.
“For the global media and photographers it’s a unique chance to capture beautiful videos and photos not only of the photogenic Cambridges and their kids — who have been extremely protected from media exposure — but also of another popular and photogenic family, that of Canada’s Justin Trudeau,” wrote Luxembourgbased journalist Cecilia Rodriguez at Forbes.com. (Alas, it seems a family-to-family meeting will have to wait for another leg of the tour, as Prince George and Princess Charlotte won’t be at the legislature today.)
Likewise, Britain’s Daily Telegraph devoted a good chunk of its pre-tour story to the prime minister, noting he did a strip tease down to his vest for charity in 2011, out-boxed Conservative senator Patrick Brazeau for similar purposes in 2012, has a tattoo of the Earth inside a Haida raven on his left bicep, became the first prime minister to march in a pride parade and did onearmed press-ups prior to the Invictus Games.
Here in the Great White North, though, it’s the duke and duchess who are the across-thepond attractions. And yes, there are rules on how to act in their presence.
The guidelines have as much to do with effi- ciency (they have to keep moving) and security as arcane etiquette. So, please, no yelling “yo, Kate!” from the sidelines. No urging them to pause for a pic (best to leave your selfie stick at home). If you feel like a curtsy or bow as they pass, go ahead, but make it subtle. (For a hownot-to video, YouTube Mr. Bean head-butting the Queen).
If they do pause to speak with you, keep your response brief and light; don’t pull up your shirt to discuss your surgical scars or launch into a rant about McLoughlin Point and sewage treatment. Don’t go for a handshake (or, good Lord, a fist bump) unless the royal hand is first extended toward you. If called upon to address them, it’s Your Royal Highness, not Kate or William or Prince (he’s not a labrador retriever). Other things to remember about today: • Also greeting the visitors at the legislature will be Gov. Gen. David Johnston, Lt.-Gov. Judith Gichon, Premier Christy Clark, Esquimalt Chief Andy Thomas, Songhees Chief Ron Sam and Victoria Mayor Lisa Helps.
There’ll be a 21-gun salute, the laying of a wreath and unveiling of a cenotaph plaque honouring those killed in Afghanistan and an inspection of the honour guard.
Members of the Songhees and Esquimalt First Nations will present a dance and song. The Victoria Children’s Choir will sing.
The Duke of Cambridge will address the crowd, and yes there will be a walkabout.
• After the ceremony the duke and duchess will meet the prime minister and Governor General at Government House.
• The visitors arrive at the 443 Squadron base at Victoria airport at 4 p.m., but there’ll be no vantage point from which the public can see them.
• The city is gussying up its flower beds, moving its best hanging baskets to places the visitors are likely to see them, and adorning today’s main stage with 50 large chrysanthemums.
• This is the first international adventure as a family for the duke, duchess and their children. They’ll stay at Government House, the grounds of which will be off-limits to the public through Oct. 2.
• It’s going to be busy. Don’t waltz downtown at the last minute.
• Parking restrictions near the legislature begin at 6 a.m. The City of Victoria says there’ll be no parking on Government Street from Wharf to Superior, Belleville Street from Oswego to Douglas, Menzies from Belleville to Superior, and Superior from Oswego to Government. The lower parking lot at Ship Point off Wharf Street will also be affected.
• Beginning at noon, road closures will include Wharf and Humboldt between Courtney and Gordon, Government from Wharf to Superior, Belleville from Oswego to Douglas, and Menzies from Belleville to Superior.
It will be local traffic only on Wharf between Fort and Douglas, Oswego between Belleville and Superior, and sections of Quebec, Kingston, and Superior streets close to the legislature.
• Leave unnecessary items such as bags, backpacks and lawnchairs at home. You shouldn’t need reminding that the Inner Harbour is a no-drone zone.