A gap year with the kids
Benefits of trip include incredible memories, tighter family bond and confident children
TORONTO
Yvette Duffy’s adventure of a lifetime began with years of meticulous planning. The goal was to visit 16 countries in 10 months — an around-the-world ramble in which she and her husband would introduce their 10and 13-year-old kids to an array of cultures, traditions and invaluable life lessons.
A family gap year, or even a months-long jaunt, can seem like an impossible dream for most Canadians. But many figure out a way, despite significant hurdles: finances, schooling, work obligations among other things.
Before their trip, Duffy and her husband curtailed spending and drafted a list of countries to visit.
Duffy deferred 20 per cent of her teacher’s salary for four years so they could afford a year-long leave.
They crunched the numbers again and again, and tweaked their list of dream destinations.
As the trip approached, they sold their car and arranged a home swap for one of the costliest legs of the trip — three weeks in the south of France.
School was also an issue, since their kids would essential skip a grade.
So Duffy downloaded outlines of their academic requirements and vowed to homeschool on the road.
It was a risky plan, Duffy acknowledges, but the payoff was huge. Several months after returning to Toronto, she points to incredible memories, a tighter family bond, and confident kids.
“Their self-esteem definitely increased, their sense of independence increased, their knowledge of the world definitely grew,” Duffy said of the impact of visiting locales including Iceland, northern Africa, the Himalayas, Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam.
“They can now speak about places and issues in the world with more confidence and actually recognize the challenges that are facing the world around poverty, human rights, climate change.”
Toronto mom Lisa Kisch said she indulged a long-held dream to see the world after her mother suddenly fell ill with terminal cancer. Eager to distract herself from grief, Kisch dove into a plan to take her husband and two daughters on a seven-month jaunt to Mexico, the Virgin Islands, England, Portugal, Spain, Turkey, Israel, Italy and Croatia.
Reached at their first stop in Merida, Mexico this year, Kisch rattled off a list of tips and tricks that could actually keep her finances in the black, thanks to a healthy passive income.
She’s renting out their Toronto home and also found tenants for their cottage. Her online business as a network marketer for a beauty products company also promises a continued source of income.
Living and accommodation expenses should drop — depending on where they travel — and more savings come from reduced home and car insurance.
Kisch used a broker to score seven months of health insurance for the whole family for $1,000, and will curb travel costs by hitting Europe in May before high-season starts. More affordable destinations such as Portugal will alternate with pricier stops, like London.
While the budget fell into place, she hadn’t anticipated how hard the move would be on her eightand 10-year-old girls, who were sad to leave friends. Several days into the trip, they were still crying.
“It did surprise me that after five or six days they were still wishing they were home,” said Kisch.
“And then I realized: You know what? You had a vision for this trip from the beginning for a reason and just keep that vision even while your kids are going through those ups and downs because, ultimately, that’s what they’re really going to learn from.”
Lingering in one place allows for some semblance of a normal routine, she adds.
Their mornings generally consist of schoolwork, an excursion and then lunch. Sightseeing is a leisurely jaunt, not the frenzied rush that can mar shorter trips, she said.
“If you have to see absolutely everything, they’re going to be miserable, you’re going to be miserable, they’re not going to remember it anyway. The things they remember are: ‘Remember when we walked to that place and we saw that shop and there was the lady with the flowers?’ ”
Micki Kosman and her husband were seasoned travellers before they had children. But hitting the road with the kids threw them for a loop.
Their younger selves had no qualms about booking cheaper hotels or even sleeping in a van — as they did during a stint in Australia. But when they took their son Cole on his first big trip at age two to the Philippines, their budget hotel and its lack of air conditioning just didn’t cut it with the toddler. They’ve learned to upgrade, and stick to short-stay apartment rentals to keep things more home-like.
Kosman also makes a concerted effort to keep her kids connected to friends through Skype, video games and postcards.
“We kind of mistakenly thought we could kind of just slot kids in that backpacker life. And it’s a little bit different,” Kosman said during a quick visit to Calgary before returning to Belize, where her family was in the midst of a three-month escape.
Any journey now starts with making sure Cole, 11, and Jordan, 8, get plenty of input.
“Chuck and I make the final decisions, of course, but we talk to them to see how they feel about travelling and where they would like to go and we make all the decisions as a family,” said Kosman, who runs various blogs including The Barefoot Nomad, Canadian Travel Insurance Review and The Parent Spot.
This current trip includes Colombia, Ecuador and the kids’ choice of the Galapagos Islands.
She said travel has made her kids more flexible and selfassured. Cole is responsible for his own suitcase and backpack. Both kids will order their own food in a Spanishspeaking restaurant as best they can.
“I think as parents we always have a tendency to over-protect a little bit and I’m always surprised how competent kids can be when you give them autonomy.”
Duffy agreed, but said such adventures are not for everyone. If your kids are struggling academically or you’re not prepared to homeschool, the Toronto teacher discourages pulling them out for lengthy periods.
But it worked for her family, and Duffy said she doesn’t regret it one bit.
“Was it hard for those four years on 80 per cent of my salary? For sure, as a family we had to make some tough decisions. But at the same time, if I had to go back and do it again, I’d do it again.”