Pet law brings out mushy side of MLAs
Nothing turns B.C. politicians into mushy sentimentalists faster than legislation to do with pets.
As sure as kitten videos draw clicks, any bill that touches on pets brings MLAs together to reminisce about animals.
People who normally spend their time yelling angrily at each other come together in unity. The place turns into an Oprah show. All the rules about relevance to the issue at hand go out the window. If you’ve got a touching animal story, the floor is yours.
An amendment to the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Act that sets up a regulatory regime for pet breeders opened the floodgates this week. The thrust of what the government wants to do and some of the problems that might be anticipated were outlined promptly.
The bill would eventually allow for the licensing of breeders and impose standards of care. But all the details will be handled in regulations yet to come.
Once that was established, there was a two-hour window for pet stories.
Here are the highlights: • NDP MLA Leonard Krog opened with a family story about a wonderful Great Dane. His name was Hamlet. Get it?
“If you ever want to be a hit in the Nanaimo bathtub days parade, don’t take just your grandchildren; take a Great Dane with you.
“Also, remain as close as you possibly can to any people mounted on horseback, because they’re always accompanied by a fellow with a shovel and a bucket. ”
Hamlet turned out to be not wonderful; he attacked someone and is now living elsewhere.
“There’s no question he was the product of a puppy mill.”
Krog’s main point was that the new law would apply to breeders, but not to pet stores that retail animals. • Liberal MLA Don McRae fondly covered his family’s entire pet tree. There was Longtail and Shorttail, his two cats as a kid. (“We weren’t very imaginative.”)
Then there was Fred, a dog, but not a great dog. Followed by Peppy, a phenomenal dog, who was succeeded by Shamoo, who apparently had problems. He touched on two cats, Ming and Princess, then got into his own pets as an adult and father. Scooby Doo, rescue cats Stumpy and Willis, and the latest addition, an Italian greyhound named Pippa.
“After two years, I’m proud to say — and I’m sure the chamber is excited to hear — she is almost fully housetrained.” • NDP MLA Bill Routley, a big golden retriever fan, with two of them, opened with a touching story about giving up an adorable puppy as a kid to some cousins and coming to terms with it. As far as the bill is concerned, he said there is work to be done dealing with bad actors and bad breeders. “I do look forward to hearing more of the details about exactly how you’re going to get at this, or if it is indeed just going to be window-dressing.” • NDP MLA Mike Farnworth had the best family memory. His three-yearold toddler niece went missing one day, triggering a panic that lasted several hours. Finally, the police found her. She’d pedalled a little pink bicycle down the highway.
“Do you have a dog?” the police asked the parents. “Yes, we’ve got a dog.” “Well you better come, because she’s safe and sound, and the dog is not letting anybody else near her.” • In the “how smart is your dog?” contest, Routley won, with a story about his dog’s memory.
The vet once took his temperature, something the dog was not thrilled about.
“Every time since then, when he gets to the treatment room, he sits down. The vet will move around him and he will move in a circle to keep the vet in front of him.” • Green MLA Andrew Weaver supported the bill, but had no memories to fall back on. He didn’t have a pet, and had to watch Old Yeller for his dog fix.
“I missed out in childhood. Maybe I should be seeking therapy.”
He is skeptically anticipating government ads on the theme of: “We’re here for you and your puppies.”
“Well done, B.C. government. Well done dealing with those issues that are affecting everyday life for British Columbians here. Let’s talk about puppies. Give me a break.”