Tweet that sparked a movement
#NotOkay went viral after Canadian writer invited women to share sex-assault stories
Kelly Oxford has cultivated a sizable Twitter audience of more than 768,000 followers with her witty takes on everything from pop culture, relationships and motherhood to fun-filled anecdotes from her wise-cracking kids.
But after the now-infamous tape of then-Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump surfaced last fall where he discussed grabbing women without their consent, Oxford understood the true power of her social media outreach.
The Canadian author and screenwriter invited women to share their stories of sexual assault — and candidly followed suit by divulging her own experiences.
Oxford saw thousands of stories stream into her feed from women who had been violated against their will, and the hashtag NotOkay became a viral phenomenon.
After the Edmonton native put the finishing touches on her new collection of humorous essays, Oxford knew the serious subject matter ignited online had to have a place within its pages.
“I thought I wanted immediately to write about it because it did strike such a chord … with the stories online, and I really want to normalize the conversation,” the Los Angles-based Oxford said during a recent interview in Toronto. “Adding it to the book just seemed like a natural thing to me and it tied in so well with anxiety and talking about situations that I might not be normally comfortable with talking about.
“It’s so great that we’re still talking about it,” she added.
In When You Find Out the Whole World Is Against You (HarperCollins), Oxford discusses the genesis of NotOkay, while also candidly sharing her own deeply personal stories.
“It was cathartic; it was difficult,” Oxford said. “There were things that I remember that I had stuffed away. It’s not something that you think about every day, so it was nice to get it out and get it down on paper and just sort of let it be what it is.”
Oxford was the on-set writer of The Disaster Artist starring James Franco, which recently screened at the South by Southwest Festival. She is also partnering with the Oscar nominee and Vancouver native Seth Rogen on developing a ’90s TV teen drama for Hulu.
The majority of Oxford’s new book showcases her trademark humour, with essays interlaced with references to her idol, Oprah Winfrey, and sitcom-worthy, slice-of-life anecdotes.
“It was mostly things that happened in my life where I felt extreme anxiety or out of place and tried to find my place in those situations where I wasn’t sure where I was going — and I really am a bit of a control freak,” she said.
“I like to know where I’m going, what I’m doing, how things are going to work out. So I really wanted to write about situations that I remembered where I didn’t feel I had a lot of control and felt a little — or a lot — anxious about being in those situations.”
Oxford also includes references to her kids — daughters Salinger, 15, and Beatrix, 8, and son Henry, 13 — who appear to have already developed their own keen savviness in their online activity.
“They realize the profoundness of sharing online. I don’t have to give them a talk about posting certain pictures or sharing too much because they really get how it is a part of the world,” she said.
“They know that all of my writing and screenwriting and all of those things were found via me tweeting and getting recognition through tweets, and then getting an agent and being able to submit all of my work. They know that all trickled through the Internet, so they understand the power that it has.
“And you do have to limit what you have online the same way you limit what you share in real life with strangers.”