Right-sizing
H ow often in your life have you changed your personal household belongings? If you’re like me, you will have changed them many times. Household needs change through the years as a result of new jobs, marriage, growing families, improving incomes and retirement.
In my younger years (I call this the first age), stuff was collected and added almost as regularly as jobs changed; marriage was encountered and larger homes were acquired. During my middle-age years (I call this the second age), the pattern of adding stuff hardly changed. Now in my senior years (the third
age), the pattern has changed. Kids have left home, retirement from a regular job ensued, and a spouse passed away. Properties were sold and others purchased. Needs for household furniture, kitchen equipment and space changed. The pressure was on to eliminate stuff, to reduce space, and to rid oneself of the many unused treasures acquired in the first two ages of life. The need to downsize, or as many positively-minded people call it –right-size – became apparent.
In this, my third age, within the past eight years, I’ve moved four times – from a spacious log-home to a smaller home and yard, to a strategically located condo, and finally, to a gracious apartment. Each move and change meant reductions to the amount of stuff collected over the years. In the process of elimination, I’ve used advertised-selling, yard sales, e-Bay and gifting or donations to family and worthy causes.
Some methods worked better than others. Yard sales did not work for me. The nuisance buyers haggled over many cheaply-priced items. It was easier and more rewarding to give away the small stuff than to take the time to set up and sell those small items. Selling major items individually was met with some success. Like most sellers, the estimated value of special stuff seemed to be higher than the buyers’ estimates. Having auctioneers appraise the more valuable items and arrange to sell them at auction gave better results. Time-forced sales created extra pressure. For me, that amounted to crisis selling. Generally, planning ahead and taking my time was the most effective, healthy approach.
Gifting to family members is not as straight-forward as it first appears. Kids, grandkids and in-laws are often not interested in your sets of expensive dishes, treasured silverware, and well-used furniture or carefully collected precious art holdings. I developed a plan which seemed to work well. Extra items were offered for free – firstly to family members. Photos and descriptions of these items were made and circulated. Members were asked to rank their choices and advise me. I returned a combined master list to all. In short order, many family members traded their own initial requests with others they thought deserved first choice.
The process proved very effective. No antagonism or feelings of favouritism was evident. The same system was used following the death of my spouse. Daughters-in-law met as a group and selected their items of choice in a fair, party-like atmosphere. Gifting to church groups, refugee organizations, people in need, and even schools was heartwarming.
A pick-up truck load of art supplies and equipment was donated to Camosun College for needy students. Knowing that people appreciated these gifts was worth more to me than the few dollars lost. Some time ago, a friend said to me: “It’s much better to be givin’ while you’re livin’, and knowing where it’s going ... than crying when you’re dying”. Wise words indeed.
The need to eliminate extra stuff was illustrated forcibly recently while making preparations for my condo sale. The staging crew identified items to be removed prior to viewings. In short time, they rearranged items that limited the number of display items in a professional and appealing way. I marveled at the spacious setting created and asked myself, “Why do I want to move from this appealing place?”
A sale resulted quickly, above the listed price, proving that the value of reducing belongings within a limited space. My own experiences suggest the following conclusions about right-sizing: • Everyone has to downsize eventually. The problem of limiting personal belongings in life will not go away on its own. Start early to think about your options. Plan to take time to reduce unused belongings. Begin with small steps; with one cupboard, one closet, or even one drawer at a time. Look at a 5-10-15 year plan to predict life changes and the options available to you. Include family, close friends and qualified professionals in the making of decisions. Attend seminars on right-sizing. It’s never too early or too late to attend such a session. Knowledge and experience can help you develop a positive, happy outlook in your third age of life.