Aim to be a team player in your relationship

You can’t be in a relationship only for yourself. Both parties have to give 100 per cent to get 100 per cent. If you are part of a strong team, you can accomplish much more than any two individuals on their own. And it’s very empowering to know that the one you love is covering your blind side. It can give you the confidence you need to be your best.

If you doubt your partner’s loyalty, the opposite occurs. You become insecure and then start to protect yourself, perhaps leaving your partner emotionally stranded. It’s not a good way to go through life, and you can’t have a successful relationship if you’re playing on opposite teams.

You will never agree on everything. But if you can refrain from being disagreeable toward one another, the sweet life you can create is what we all dream of. The next time you have a disagreement with the one you love, think to yourself: “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be in a relationship?”

I’ve lost enough games and had enough negativity in my life to know the value of being on a good team and having a supportive partner. Bad things will happen in your life. But if you stay in the moment and don’t let past difficulties colour your perception of what’s going on now, you will overcome most of what life can throw at you.

A good tool for working on your relationship is to create a wish list of fun things you would like to do with your partner. You can start by listing three or four things you would like to do in the next few weeks. These should be fun things that are easy to do, and each of you should be willing to go along with the other’s list. In effect, you and your partner are granting each other a wish, so don’t put anything on the list that will cause major conflict.

Another idea is to talk about the distant future and what you want your lives to look like. By doing so, you are creating a treasure map to your own happiness. A long-term plan can help you stay on the path toward achieving your goals. But keep it simple. With the passing of time, it’s the little things that can be the most fulfilling. You don’t have to score a touchdown every time you leave the house.

Moving through life with your teammate by your side seems ideal to me. Some couples might want more space, but I enjoy doing most everything with the one I love. We have chosen not to make life a chore but to enjoy this gift that we’ve been given of being with each other. Honest and truly, that is all we need.