LOOKING FOR HER BIRTH PARENTS
Esquimalt girl adopted from China is part of project to reconnect adoptees with their roots
Ten-year-old Isabelle Smit has a message for her birth mother, if she finds her: “I’d ask her, was it really, really, really hard?” the Esquimalt girl says.
“And I’d also ask: ‘Why did you have to give me up?’ And if she told me, I’d be like: ‘Yeah, I understand.’ ”
The chances that Isabelle will find her birth mother have risen, since her search has attracted media attention in China.
Isabelle is one of several international adoptees who posted a video together on China’s equivalent of YouTube that is going viral. Her mother, Kristen Lundgren, who teaches at Macaulay Elementary, said 15 Chinese birth parents have already submitted DNA samples after watching the video.
What began as a project to connect a few kids with their birth families is ballooning into something much bigger, she said.
“This is having an impact on many families in China and will have an impact on Chinese adoptees around the world, as birth families come forward in search of their children,” Lundgren said.
Lundgren adopted Isabelle in October 2007, 10 months after she was born, from an adoption agency based in the Chongqing region of China.
She doesn’t know for certain why Isabelle was put up for adoption, but it happened at a time when China was still enforcing its onechild policy, which forced parents to give up their second children if they couldn’t afford a lofty fine.
The policy was phased out in 2015.
Some Chinese families wouldn’t realize that their children had been adopted internationally, Lundgren said.
“That was one message in the video: We’re out here, all over the world and we’re doing well, but we want to know about ourselves,” Lundgren said.
Some orphanages also offered incentives for children, but Lundgren does not believe Isabelle was among those who were trafficked as a result.
Finding Isabelle’s birth family has been a hope from the beginning, even if it seems like finding a needle in a haystack, Lundgren said.
“From the time she was very small, we were always open with the fact that she had been adopted and there was a birth mum. When she was very young, she’d copy Chinese characters and say she was writing to her birth mom,” Lundgren said.
“So this search has always been on our mind.”
Lundgren is part of a Facebook group for parents who adopted children from the Chongqing area. A mother from Halifax put out the idea of the video and 18 families got on board.
Each child was featured in a 10-second clip, saying who they are, where they were born, their birth year, orphanage and where they live now. The kids range in age frome one to16 years and all are girls except for one boy. They live in Canada, the U.S., the Netherlands and Belgium.
At the end of the video, one of the kids asks in Mandarin for anyone with information to get in touch.
The group’s contact in China was “inundated” wtih responses, Lundgren said.
“It was quite emotional and moving, because there were many birth parents. It wasn’t a choice for them to give up their children,” she said.
The story has been covered in Chinese newspapers, television and online media.
It will take about one month to process the 15 DNA samples that have already been submitted.
The group has also raised about $5,000 through GoFundMe, in case some of the Chinese families can’t afford the DNA test, which costs about $100 US. They want to ensure any birth parent has an opportunity to participate, even those outside of Chongqing.
“It may not be somebody from our group that made the video that will find their match, but somebody will find their family because of it,” Lundgren said.
The families are also trying to keep expectations realistic.
“It’s an emotional roller-coaster for all the kids. If it’s like this for me, I can only imagine what it’s like for my daughter. It’s part of her identity,” Lundgren said.
“We’re hopeful, but we’re realistic. The likelihood is not high, but it’s not impossible.”
Isabelle confirmed that it hasn’t always been easy for her.
“I feel worried and I feel like, sometimes, stressed. But at the same time, I feel really excited about it. Because sometimes, I’m like, well what if we don’t have anything in common? And what if she never gets to learn English and we’ll have to have a translator all the time to talk to her,” Isabelle said.
“But I know if I actually found her, I’d be really happy and I’d hang out with her a lot.”