Their Final Journey: A Pallbearers’ Role in the Funeral Service
When I was young, I remember reading the poem Footprints by Margaret Powers, which is still one of my favorite pieces of writing today. It impacted me greatly, particularly the part where the individual sees only one set of footprints in the sand. When you continue reading, we find out they haven’t been abandoned, but rather had been carried during the lowest and most hopeless time in their life.
This poem reminds me of the human connection we have for one another. To know that someone cares so deeply for you, they would bear some of the weight when they are needed most. That’s special. It only seems fitting, and in our nature, to want to provide that time-honoured tradition of carrying our dearly departed loved ones to their final resting place.
Being asked to be a pallbearer for a family member or close friend who has died can be a very emotional yet meaningful experience. Being chosen is a clear sign that you are a trusted and valued individual who has played a significant role in the person’s life to be given this responsibility. You want to make sure it is done with the dignity and respect it requires. Possibly, you have participated as a pallbearer before or perhaps it is your first time …maybe even your first funeral. Rest assured, there will be a team of funeral professionals on-site to guide you and lead you in the process.
Including pallbearers in a service is a time-honoured tradition that should be considered even if a cremation is chosen as the final disposition. We also see individuals chosen to carry the urn for a service, on its own or with 2 to 4 urn bearers using an urn arch. This is a beautiful way to enter and exit the chapel and the cemetery with an urn.
There are no rules to who can perform the respectful duty. Even if someone is unable to carry to the casket or urn physically, perhaps due to a disability or being of a young or old age - they can still participate by walking beside the casket or urn as an honourary pallbearer. As our family members age, we are often faced with less family and friends available and it’s a good idea to have the conversation about who you would call upon, when the time comes, for you and your family members. It is also okay for you to let important people in your life know, it would be something you would be available and honoured to do.
It is so impactful to watch a casket being carried. The weight that is being taken on is more than just the individual them self - it is also the love, the loss, the honour, the memories, and the realization of this being the final journey, that will be taken together.
When we are at our most vulnerable and no longer have the ability to carry ourselves, what an amazing gift and duty we perform for our loved ones, ensuring they are carefully transported on that final journey, by those who loved them most. Many times, it is those who once carried us as children, that we may one day be called upon to carry ourselves, and our two sets of footprints, will again become one.