| Urban Diplomat Advice on how to be a civilized Torontonian

My eight-year-old son made a new friend at school this year. Unfortunately, the kid’s dad is a real piece of work. To say he’s a health nut would be an understatement. The man keeps his child on a strict diet—no refined sugar, no preservatives—and gets angry when other parents don’t adhere to it. Recently, the boy was over at our house, and I bought everyone treats from our local bakery. When his dad found out, he refused to set up another play date for weeks. I think he’s being ridiculous. Do I have to give in to his draconian demands?

—Snack Attack, The Beach

Issuing a lifetime ban on just about everything that tastes good is cruel. But so is sneaking treats behind another parent’s back. Even if the guy is behaving like an organic overlord, it’s his kid, his rules. Rather than worrying about what Granola Boy is missing, think of your own son. Waging a sugar war will only prevent him and his new BFF from hanging out, so keep your comments—and your pastries—to yourself.

Dear Urban Diplomat, My husband and I live in a condo, and one of the owners below us (one floor down, one door over) lets his dog do his business on their balcony. He rarely cleans it up, so there’s usually a week’s worth of number twos festering at any given time. Whenever we go out for a smoke, the view and stench are atrocious. I’ve already left a note on his door to no avail. What should my next move be?

—Whine of Doody, Liberty Village

Face-to-face conversations generally make a stronger impression than passive-aggressive notes. Pay your neighbour a visit and politely explain that turning his balcony into a giant litter box ruins your al fresco experience. If that doesn’t change anything, file a complaint with your condo board. While some boards are notoriously inept, many have rules about exactly what items are allowed on residents’

balconies—and a mountain of poop isn’t likely to be one of them.

Dear Urban Diplomat, I bike to and from work every day and, not too long ago, I got doored. I didn’t break any bones, but my $700 bike was badly damaged. The driver apologized profusely, and we exchanged information and phone numbers. The next day, he texted me to ask me not to report the accident, so it doesn’t affect his insurance, and basically told me to name my price. Should I play along?

—Door Prize, Little Italy

Your fastest road to compensation is to simply take the cash. But, because I’m hesitant to trust someone who can’t even be relied on to look around before opening his car door, I’d recommend getting a quote from a repair shop and registering the accident at the local police station—they’ll document the damage without affecting his insurance. That way, if he balks when you tell him just how much your bike, time and trouble are worth, you’ll have everything you need to file an official report immediately. You may not get your money quite as quickly, but his premiums will skyrocket, which will make you feel better and might make him think twice before flinging open his car door without looking again.

Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com