Match Game

Our photo essay “First Comes Marriage,” featuring couples who chose arranged marriages over love matches—sometimes against the wishes of their parents—spurred some heated debate.

“The majority of us brown folks came to Canada for choice and freedom—not to bring along with us the very things that made where we came from unbearable. Let’s celebrate choice and freedom—not relics of an ancient, increasingly irrelevant and patriarchal society.”

—bawbeakari, Instagram

“These aren’t forced arrangements. If two people wish to be brought together in an arranged union, that should be their choice. The right to decide for oneself is what selfdetermination is all about.”

—daniqbee, Instagram

“Why on earth would arranged marriage even be a thing? The concept of love is absent in arranged marriage. It’s more like a social script meant to keep bloodlines active with no other races involved, and the end game is a ring on your finger with no happiness attached. I’m happy the Portuguese don’t put their kids in that predicament.”

—George Monteiro, Facebook

“Being open to your family’s input is one thing; being pressured or dictated to is something completely different. I wouldn’t call these your stereotypical arranged marriages.” —Amy MacPherson Smith MacLeod,

Facebook “Sometimes what we think is ideal is not always what’s best, especially for traditional constructs like marriage. Numerous studies have shown that with more choice comes more expectation, and modern marriages aren’t more successful than in the past. They’re possibly even less successful, because those increased expectations can drive a wedge between two people. I’ve known people in arranged marriages who were happier than people in love matches. Obviously there are no guarantees either way, but I think it’s important to keep an open mind about both avenues.”

—William Ju, Facebook