Doctor laments loss of patient trust
Re DNR order broke law, watchdog says, Sept. 5 As a family physician who practises both office medicine and palliative care, what saddens me most about this article is that it so clearly demonstrates the problem we have in medicine these days — a lack of trust between physicians and family and patients. So often I am asked to see dying patients. At these very sensitive moments I must meet a new patient who is scared or incapable and their families are struggling and often angry. And somehow I must establish a relationship of trust. We are all in this situation due to the lack of time in our society. We are in such a hurry that the physician-patient relationship has become untenable. There is no time to explain why resuscitating a loved one is no longer an option. Or to sit with a crying family. A long time ago, when the family doctor did it all — office care, baby care, geriatric care, palliative care — the time was just as sparse, but because the trust was there, forged by a relationship of many years, families understood why treatments weren’t offered, that the medicine being given was to alleviate pain, not to hasten death. They understood that death is part of life. Lack of time has also pushed the discussion of euthanasia to the forefront. People don’t want to be a “burden” on their families. What does that mean? Time from our ever-pressing jobs, time from our children’s hockey games, time from our sleep?
And families don’t want to wait through hours of uncertainty as their loved one takes what could be their last breath. They don’t want to and can’t handle spending these final hours with their families, huddled in the room of the dying patient in the age-old tradition.
I love what I do. I love helping people and trying to establish trust. I love seeing babies, children, spouses and friends come and visit their dying loved one.
But I hate that society sees death as something to be fought at all costs, and I especially hate that it is because of the lack of trust in each other that patients, families and physicians feel so affronted by each other’s position. Mostly though what I hate is that I don’t have the time to do anything about it. Dr. Caroline McAllister, Brooklin