Bruce Arthur
Rice controversy casts long shadow over NFL,
It’s Week 2 in the NFL, but let’s recap what happened in Week 1. Wait, what happened in Week 1? It feels like it took place months ago, in some faraway place. Did Tom Brady lose? Did the Bills win? Did J.J. Watt destroy an American city? Tony Romo did something, I think. Or did he do that exact same thing in the more distant past? Is there a difference? Does Tony Romo exist in a realm outside conventional time and space? It’s like he has always just . . . been. Bless him. Let’s talk about Week 2, just as soon as we note that hey, the NFL has launched an independent investigation into its now-nuclear handling of the Ray Rice domestic violence tape. It is independent! That is terrific! It is led by former FBI chief Robert Mueller III, who NFL PR heavyweight Greg Aiello helpfully noted on Twitter, “played lacrosse at Princeton, has law degree from University of Virginia & master’s in international relations from NYU. Mueller also was a U.S. Marine Corps officer.” Aiello did not note that Mueller is a partner at the law firm, WilmerHale, that represented the NFL in the DirectTV Sunday Ticket negotiations. Oh, and the NFL vice-president and high-ranking in-house lawyer, Jay Bauman, came to the NFL from WilmerHale. Oh, and WilmerHale represented Washington owner Dan Snyder after he bought the team. Oh, and the president of the Baltimore Ravens, Dick Cass, worked at WilmerHale for 31 years. But don’t worry! Owners John Mara and Art Rooney will oversee the independent investigation. Phew. Both are the eldest sons of men whose fathers founded their franchises; Mara released a statement a few hours before being named to the probe that read, in part, “The video is appalling, and I believe that the team and the League took appropriate action after they finally had the opportunity to view it.” Rooney’s dad, Dan, was the owner chosen to tell Goodell he got the job in 2006.
One moment: I have to look up the definition of “independent.” Maybe it’s like how we used “literally” so poorly that the Oxford English Dictionary definition now includes the clause, “used for emphasis but not literally true.” Boy, did we screw that one up, gang.
Nope, definition’s still the same. Anyway, they will soon learn that ESPN’s Don Van Natta cites four sources who told him that Rice told Goodell back in June that he punched his fiancée, and didn’t lie. Goodell told CBS Rice’s story was “ambiguous.”
Oops! The idea that the only thing that mattered was whether Goodell had seen the tape or not was always a MacGuffin anyway. It just keeps getting messier.
As for last week, this space went 5-11, or as we like to call it around here, a Cleveland Browns. In fairness, a 4-12 can also be referred to as a Cleveland Browns. This space is basically one big Cleveland Browns, while aspiring to the spectacular, rollicking mediocrity of a Dallas Cowboys. Like the weather, all lines could change.
THE PICKS
Miami (pick) at Buffalo This week, this reporter wrote a column about Terry Pegula buying the Bills that began, “The Bills never belonged in Toronto.” Later, several Bills fans angrily accused this reporter of being bitter over the Bills not being in Toronto. There was one threat of bodily harm. Life is fascinating. Pick: Miami Jacksonville (+7) at Washington The Washington Post was one of several outlets that have recommended that former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice be the next commissioner of the NFL. That would be the first time an NFL commissioner had ever been linked to potential war crimes. Pick: Jacksonville Arizona (-3) at N.Y. Giants This was a great week for NFL news to not get noticed, whether it was the sexual assault lawsuit against Dallas owner Jerry Jones, or the fact that Arizona defensive end John Abraham played 16 games last season with severe memory loss before leaving the team this week. Pick: Arizona New England (-3) at Minnesota After a Week 1 loss to Miami, Tom Brady ranks 34th in completion percentage in the NFL this season, which would be surprising if his receivers weren’t super-party post-surgery Gronk, lil’ Julian Edelman, lil’ Danny Amendola, two tackling dummies and a blocking sled. Pick: Minnesota N.Y. Jets (+9) at Green Bay Thursday, an unnamed owner told the Wall Street Journal that Goodell didn’t pursue the Ray Rice elevator tape because he felt it would be “insensitive to question Janay Rice’s story.” Among other things, this ignores that dozens of casino workers, and ESPN’s Chris Mortensen, and others knew what was on the tape. Come on. Pick: Jets Kansas City (+11.5) at Denver I mean, seriously. The NFL interviewed Ray Rice’s fiancée with Rice in the room! They think blaming a domestic assault victim for lying will work? Really? How dumb does the NFL think you are? Pretty dumb, dummy. Here, have a noogie. It won’t cause brain damage, ha ha! Now give me your lunch money. Pick: Denver
ALSO . . .
Dallas (+3.5) at Tennessee Pick: Dallas New Orleans (-6.5) at Cleveland Pick: Cleveland Atlanta (+5) at Cincinnati Pick: Atlanta Detroit (+3) at Carolina Pick: Detroit St. Louis (+6) at Tampa Bay Pick: Tampa Bay Seattle (-6) at San Diego Pick: Seattle Houston (-3) at Oakland Pick: Oakland Chicago (+7) at San Francisco Pick: San Francisco Philadelphia (+3) at Indianapolis Pick: Philadelphia Last week: 5-11