App makes women the queen bees
Bumble’s creator is upending online dating by giving ladies control over their matches
There’s a new, Tinder-esque app on the market that has women calling the shots.
Like Tinder, Bumble works with the now-familiar left-right swipe method (swipe right if you like, left if you don’t), and you sign in with Facebook in order to create an account. The matriarchal twist is that a man can’t message a woman unless she decides to message him first. Once a match is made, the clock starts ticking. If the woman doesn’t reach out in 24 hours, the match evaporates, never to be seen again.
Bumble founder Whitney Wolfe says she made the stakes high on purpose. This way, she says, women who have internalized the message that they shouldn’t make the first move must be more forthcoming, and men will learn they don’t always need to be the instigators.
Wolfe, who co-founded Tinder, says Bumble is about creating more equality within the dating landscape. The app was actually inspired by her own real-life experiences.
“So many times I’ve been out with my girlfriends, and there’s always that cute guy who catches your eye,” she says.
“It’s always so stressful for me — why do we have to wait for them to talk to us? Why is it always 100 per cent in his hands? I didn’t think that was progressive or forward-thinking.” Enter Bumble. Launched in December, the app has hundreds of thousands of users, with 15-per-cent growth week over week. Exact numbers were unavailable, and Wolfe says the company doesn’t release them.
Because men are taught that they should be the first to pursue women they’re interested in, Wolfe says, she was hesitant about the approach in the beginning, and worried there may not be enough male users. Now, the number of men and women using the app is roughly equal.
“What’s really interesting is as much as it’s a stereotype to say women like to sit back and want men to come to them, it’s also a stereotype that men want to be the aggressor,” she says, adding that many men tell her they find the app a relief.
The rules are clear for heterosexual men and women who want to play the game. But what about members of the LGBTQ community?
Wolfe says all people are welcome to use the app. The woman-first messaging approach doesn’t apply to gay, lesbian and bisexual users in quite the same way. For these matches, either person has a chance to make a move within the first 24 hours.
Right now, Bumble users must identify as male or female. Those who identify as non-binary and use gender-neutral pronouns, such as “they,” must still check off the M or F box. Wolfe says Bumble is working on changing this so that “someone of any gender, or any orientation, can find the words for them.”
Wolfe reiterates that the app’s goal is to enhance equality in online dating.
As for whether the app’s one-sided approach can foster an equal relationship once a Bumble date turns into more, Wolfe has the perfect response.
“It’s not like it’s an even playing field we’re working with. It’s uneven to begin with. This doesn’t put the woman a step ahead, it just gives the woman a bump up.”