Nearest lovers’ lane just a few clicks away
Social media allows amorous people to talk about ‘hot’ spots, ranging from cars to stairwells
You want to fool around, but everyone’s home. You want to book a hotel, but it’s too pricey. You want to find a place outdoors, but it’s too cold. Car it is.
Car sex is not a new trend, according to sex educator and writer Cory Silverberg. “Historically, when cars were introduced, some people started freaking out that young people were going to use (them) for sex,” he said. “In the 1920s, cars were believed to be one of the major causes for unwed mothers.”
The latest twist to the trend is that people can now easily figure out the prime locations, thanks to social media.
Screenshots of pinned locations labelled “f---spots” are shared online, sometimes specifying exact directions to each location.
Alex Shivraj, a 28-year-old Mississauga resident, made a hobby of this back in high school with a few of his friends. “We were freshly minted with our driving licences, and we didn’t have a spot of our own to use for various purposes,” he said in an email to the Star. “Luckily, Google maps and other satellite images were becoming readily available and that’s what got us started.”
They would scour for secluded locations online, leave a small motionactivated, battery-operated camera for two to three hours, and then analyze the footage. “If the spot didn’t have people walking around or security patrolling, we would add that to our list. If it did, we would note the times the spot was ‘hot.’ ”
These spots were primarily for sex (hence the name), but they were also used for smoking shisha and watching movies.
“We weren’t delinquents; we just wanted a space to hang out.”
In threads on social media and blogs discussing public sex, sweet spots for public sex and car sex are often shared. They’re mostly in empty parking lots (public and private), bigger parks and, in some cases, university stairwells.
This blurs the thin line between car sex and public sex. Public sex is illegal in Canada, and anyone engaging in the act could be charged and fined. However, you can have sex in a car as long as the act is not in public sight. In 1981, a provincial court judge dismissed charges against a Vancouver couple caught by police with flashlights, saying that it was obvious the accused did not want to be seen.
“There is a difference between sex outside vs. sex in public,” said Silverberg. In the U.K., there’s a growing trend called ‘dogging.’ Someone will post online: “Me and my partner are going (here), come watch us.”
The biggest concern is consent. Sex in public spaces becomes an issue when third parties unintentionally become part of the sexual experience, says Carol Anne Austin, a psychotherapist at KMA Therapy specializing in sexuality.
“This is a serious issue of consent, as being an unwilling participant of a sex act is never OK.”
“We have to realize that for some, it’s not a choice,” said Silverberg. “If you’re homeless and you have a sex life just like anyone else, you’re going to do it in public because you have no other choice.”
Silverberg adds that having shelters with privacy provided for the homeless would help with this growing concern. For Silverberg, as an educator, if you can do it in a way that doesn’t disturb anyone else, then there’s no problem.
“Have you got a backyard with a tall fence? Go right ahead.”