Getting a life lesson in return for giving gifts
Children get up-close look at how lucky they really are during one gift-filled morning
It is an age-old parenting question: How do you teach children empathy?
You can try to remind them at every turn how lucky they are or how much they have. You can gripe at them when they are ungrateful. But like many of the words that come out of Mom’s mouth, it just seems like a lecture, or even endless droning.
My children, Charlotte, 11, and Alexander, 9, have taken part in an annual program at their school, known as a Kid Like Me, where they buy a gift that they think a child their age might like.
At an extended family Christmas gathering, instead of exchanging presents with every child, one present is designated for an unknown child, to be dropped off at the mall or fire hall ahead of the party.
We happily take part in these worthwhile efforts, but they can seem abstract for them to grasp.
Spending a weekend morning last December in Scarborough, delivering stacks of bright-red Toronto Star Santa Claus Fund boxes, made far more of an impression.
We arrive at a storage room in a public housing complex, where a cheerful Scout leader is doling out assignments. After we load the minivan with boxes and plug addresses into the GPS, we head to the first apartment building. My kids are reluctant to go inside.
We coax them along and buzz for the first recipient. A young mother comes down to the lobby and Charlotte hands it over without a word.
The kids run out to the minivan, quietly pleased they have delivered one. They slowly warm up.
Soon enough, they are fighting over who gets to ring the bell or knock on the door.
We’re lucky on this day — most people are still home on a Saturday morning. Some years, we’ve delivered and found no one is home or the family has already moved.
At one apartment, we have five boxes for two families to deliver. We ring the bell. No answer. We hear noises inside. We ring again.
Suddenly, the door opens and several kids come running, aware that the bright red boxes are for them. My children hand them over and wish them a Merry Christmas.
The door closes. You can hear the footsteps and jumping of tiny feet. You know it isn’t much, but it’s at least something.
And for my children, they have seen a glimpse of what life may be like in other homes. These children also have loving parents, but parents who may be struggling to give their little ones the extras.
A day delivering Santa Claus boxes won’t change the world, but it’s at least a small lesson to show children what it might be like in another person’s shoes.
My children can’t articulate what the morning was like, or why it was meaningful, but Charlotte said: “It was good to help someone who doesn’t have much, get something.”
It wasn’t an amazing life lesson or Eureka moment, but a snapshot of life in our city.
But we’ll be out in Scarborough soon, doing deliveries again this year. If you have been touched by the Santa Claus Fund or have a story to tell, please email santaclausfund@thestar.ca.