How a mentor can make all the difference
Through emotional support, kids who suffer major trauma can overcome a great deal
As a forensic psychiatrist, I help treat youth and adults who are accused of committing crimes and who suffer from mental illness. I end up seeing cases where at-risk kids have become real risks to society. And I often find myself thinking, “If only they’d had a mentor.” I’m not alone. The powers of mentorship are well established — it’s a relationship that can change the course of a life and help a young person heal from trauma. If a child or youth can form a secure attachment to an individual who’s reliable, available and focused on helping — even if they only meet up every other week — that child will often develop a greater resilience to stress and improved interpersonal relationships.
Before going to medical school, I was living in Winnipeg where I became a “Big Brother” to a youth raised in an at-risk environment. He was 14 years old, and was at risk of gang involvement and skipping out of school. We got to know each other and talked a lot about the decisions he could make. He ended up avoiding a criminal life, went on to graduate from high school and is developing a rewarding career. We both believe that our friendship had a lot to do with his motivation to succeed. For me, he taught me a lot about the challenges youth face and gave me a chance to help him. We’re still close friends and keep in touch regularly.
It takes a village
I thought a lot about my experience as a mentor throughout medical school. In fact, the field of social pediatric medicine and psychiatry focuses not only on the specific child or youth facing difficulties — but on the big picture. We look at the environment surrounding a child as well as the quality of his or her relationships. The more we know about childhood development and understand a child’s attachment, the more we understand just how crucial a mentor can be. A secure attachment with a caring family member or a consistent friend can make a huge difference. When kids lack this type of emotional attachment, they might end up seeking it out in harmful ways — for example, by joining a street gang in order to feel like part of a family.
This is where community organizations such as the Peer Project and Big Brothers Big Sisters are having a big impact. By matching children and youth up with mentors, they facilitate healthy attachments that can help many kids. Even individuals who have suffered major trauma in their early lives can overcome a great deal when they have the emotional support of a mentor who’s available and willing to just listen and be there for them. And in turn, the mentors develop empathy, compassion, leadership and social skills.
Medical students as mentors
Being a mentor is a great experience for anyone going into a profession like medicine, in which empathy and social engagement are key.
I’ve started a program called the Advocacy Mentoring Initiative as part of a new course in the University of Toronto medical school curriculum that partners students with community organizations. Through this initiative, several medical students can serve as mentors with the Peer Project, and Big Brothers and Big Sisters. In addition to their mentorship visits, they also learn about attachment theory, pediatrics and the social determinants of health. They are in turn mentored by medical residents in adolescent medicine and psychiatry. The youth get access to a friendly, pro-social role model and the medical students learn to become more engaging and empathetic doctors. We hope to expand this program to other training programs that are involved in helping children.
I think we should make this type of mentorship a priority throughout our communities. We decry the scarcity of resources for at-risk youth, but we should also consider the abundance of people who could serve as mentors to younger peers and encourage these connections.
(Interested in becoming a mentor? Find out more about Big Brothers Big Sisters or the Peer Project.)