You deserve better than a guy who lies and can’t be trusted

Throwaway line from a crush about him liking you may be part of dating by text, but don’t fall for it

Last year, I liked this guy and he’d told me he liked me too.

I told him a lot about me. However, people at school made fun of me about that, so I never went up and talked to him.

I asked him to a school dance, but he declined due to important family plans.

Apparently, my “friend” also liked him then, but I didn’t know. She found out that I’d asked him and freaked out.

For two weeks, she physically and verbally bullied me. She hit me in the head with her backpack (specifically, the edge of her laptop) and caused me to slam into the wall fast, causing a concussion.

She repeated this multiple times, but mostly hit me in the side and the stomach and gave me bruises that didn’t go away for a month.

I didn’t know how to stop it until my friend told me to go see the counsellor. That fixed the bullying but the things between me and the boy were never the same. This year, things blew up. First, he said that he’d lied and had never liked me, but then said that was a lie, but he’d only liked me for one week.

I feel like I still can’t move on. What should I do? Stuck in this Story

The story is over now and new ones will arise, because you’re in an age and friendship group consumed with dating by text.

So learn right now that relationships don’t really work that way.

A text that someone likes you is just a throwaway line. He or she has to want to hang out, talk in person sometimes, tell friends about liking you.

This never happened. The guy was playing you, which is mean. Your so-called “friend” is even meaner — a nasty, physical bully whom you should avoid indefinitely.

It’s fortunate that the counsellor “fixed” things. Now you know to talk to a counsellor anytime someone makes you feel unsafe or actually harms you, and do it right away.

This guy isn’t worth your time. He lies and can’t be trusted.

You’re better than that. You have sincere feelings, you were open and honest with him.

You’re still hurt and embarrassed from what happened. But you’re the smarter, luckier one, because you’ve learned the difference between imagining someone’s nice and finding out his true personality.

When my other half’s on the phone to his 24-year-old son, should he ask where his ex-wife is at? Should I be OK with it? Uncertain

It can be a completely normal and thoughtful inquiry, while in conversation, to ask about the young man’s mother and her well-being.

It’s far more healthy than maintaining a harsh divide with an ex, such that he doesn’t ask about her at all, and his son continues to feel tension about it.

Unless there’s some suspicion on your part that your partner’s yearning for his ex, or has an ongoing relationship with her that feels inappropriate to you, I believe you should be OK with his asking about her.

To me, it signals that he’s a decent guy trying to make his son comfortable.

So ask yourself why it made you wonder about his motive.

Do you have doubts about his loyalty to you?

Are there other issues in the relationship you fear raising with him, so you focus instead on anything having to do with his ex?

If yes to either, you two need to discuss what’s really bothering you.

Tip of the day Someone who lies and can’t be trusted isn’t worth your time for a relationship. Read Ellie Monday to Saturday. Email ellie@thestar.ca or visit her website, ellieadvice.com. Follow @ellieadvice.