Don’t accuse her of prostitution without proof

I suspect that my 25-year-old daughter is meeting and sleeping with men for money. I believe she meets them on social media networks and arranges it.

She’s not working and doesn’t contribute to any household expense, yet she’s always going out for dinner, has money to buy fast food and clothing.

Her older sister recently accompanied her to a restaurant where the waitress recognized her and commented, “You were here last week with your boss.” She has no boss. When questioned by her sister, she said it was an architect that she was meeting for help with her school project (she’s studying interior design).

I’ve never heard of this “architect” who’s supposedly helping her. I want to confront her about my suspicion. I’m concerned that she’s putting herself in danger by meeting with men that she doesn’t know. Desperate Mother

Without much evidence, this accusation could cause you to lose her.

Start a conversation about school and suggest she try to get a parttime job with an interior design firm.

If she brushes you off, say that you’re concerned about how she can afford clothing purchases and dinners out.

If she reacts with anger, tell her your other concerns, rather than direct suspicions.

Tell her that if “strangers” are paying her, you fear for her physical safety, for her health (re: sexually transmitted infections) and about exposure to danger to the rest of your family since she lives at home.

If she still denies, insist on proof of how she obtains her spending money.

If you’re proven correct, insist that, to stay under your roof and attend school, she must get counselling and stop prostituting herself.

I’ve been dating this guy and having sex with him for two years. I’ve made myself orgasm so I know what it feels like, but it never happens with him.

I’m just wondering . . . Is it me? Or is it him?

What can I do to boost our relationship in the bedroom? Missing Out

The surest way to prolong this difficulty is to think, “This is my fault.” Next surest way is to blame him. It’s not an uncommon situation. Achieving orgasm during intercourse isn’t as simple for women as it is for men. It often requires a buildup of the woman’s emotional desire and libido during foreplay.

But it also needs a partner who’s sensitive to the woman’s physiology and ways that her sexual responses are encouraged.

A good sex manual can help both of you. Reading it together in bed, and exploring erogenous zones as well as different positions, is a good way to start.

I’m sharing a flat with a friend who’s amazing. Mostly, we get on really well. However, she’s very logical, I’m very emotional, and sometimes we clash.

I put more into the friendship and drive myself crazy wondering if she cares at all.

She likes her “alone time” and also wants to be around other people a lot. I get upset/jealous over this.

I hate being alone and I love being around her, but she clearly doesn’t feel the same. I can get a little depressed about it. What can I do? Too Easily Hurt

Get out with other friends and/or to interests outside the flat.

You agreed to share living space, not to be inseparable.

If you don’t know many other people, join a meet-up group, take a course, get involved in a sport or volunteer where needed.

Being emotional doesn’t have to mean being needy.

Tip of the day Without any evidence of daughter’s sex-for-pay, raise “concerns” rather than an accusation. Read Ellie Monday to Saturday. Email ellie@thestar.ca or visit her website, ellieadvice.com. Follow @ellieadvice