Something’s gotta give
Getting rid of what no longer serves a purpose in your life is a liberating experience, experts say
If you’re dealing with a home long overdue for a makeover, remember this: The items you remove may be more important than the ones you bring in.
Yes, lately it seems the war against too much stuff and clutter is reaching new heights, thanks to the meteoric rise of Marie Kondo, a tidying guru and
author of the New York Times bestseller, The LifeChanging Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.
Kondo’s lessons include a how-to guide for creating the perfect sock drawer and dismissing, with gratitude, any item that no longer sparks joy.
But while creating serene, functional spaces may seem like a refined art of late, it’s certainly nothing new.
Since 2005, Clare Kumar has been making personal spaces feel lighter and more manageable through her Toronto-based professional organizing company, Streamlife. To achieve this, usually something’s gotta give.
In other words, the process likely involves hauling some stuff out.
The first step, however, is deciding how a particular space will be used.
“Is it music, television, is it game playing, is it reading?” asks Kumar.
“What are the three to five activities you hope to accomplish in that space? Then, identify how you want that space to feel and how many visual things you have around you.”
Once those priorities are set, she says you can begin to “liberate” items that no longer have purpose.
“It’s much easier to let go if you’ve got your priorities clear in your mind,” she explains.
“Instead of the angst of letting go, I like to look at it as setting something free so maybe someone else can enjoy it. And maybe that also liberates your space to embrace those things you’ve chosen as priorities for the life you’re living now, not the life you used to live. Is it really doing what it needs to do for you?”
Growing up, Erinn Clark was taught the value of organized living.
Her mother, a dedicated minimalist, was known to appear with a garbage bag in hand and ask Clark and her siblings to toss out toys they no longer used.
The family often shopped at second-hand stores and exchanged modest gifts on special occasions. Her parents preferred to give “experiences over stuff,” she recalls.
“There was always a special toy or two, but the big gift was driving to Buffalo and getting a night in a hotel with a swimming pool,” says Clark. Those early lessons stuck. Clark and her husband strive to pass them along to their three children, ages 4, 6 and 8, although it hasn’t always been easy.
“Our first real battle was when we had our first child,” says Clark.
“At the time, we lived in a 700square-foot bungalow and we really didn’t have much space. We received so many hand-me-downs and gifts, clothes, toys and stuffed animals, it was getting incredibly overwhelming.” According to Kumar, a common roadblock to parting with our belongings is guilt.
“It might be something that you’ve paid a lot of money for, so you’re feeling guilty about that,” she says.
“There is a lot of permission that comes into this, for people to give themselves permission to let go of x, y and z and say, this is my life and my space and I get to shape it.”
Clark and her husband quickly made peace with clearing out unnecessary items.
“Gifts were the hardest to deal with because there was a feeling of needing to appreciate them, but we just didn’t have room for everything,” she says.
“We began re-gifting, passing them along, or donating to charitable organizations. At first, we felt kind of guilty for passing along brand new baby gifts, but soon it felt pretty good to get it out of the house.”
Recently, the family moved from Toronto to Vietnam, a process that forced them to closely re-examine their belongings.
They kept the items they used daily, along with expensive ones they would use in the future and a few personal treasures, including sweaters hand knit by family members and artwork made by their children.
“All the rest can go because we know someone else might find it more useful than us or might love it more than us,” Clark says.
Moving or undergoing home renovations are common catalysts for finally dealing with accumulation, Kumar says.
“I can’t tell you the number of homes I’ve been in that have had a main-floor renovation and before it started, they put everything in the basement instead of making longterm decisions for it — they’re deferring decisions.”
When reimagining a space, less is often more, says Kumar.
“Work to understand what the space can take and how much you have to let go to preserve the vision you’re aiming for,” she says.
“It might mean reducing 30 per cent.” Lynn MacDonald and her husband regularly clean house. With two girls, ages 3 and 6, MacDonald says it’s an “ongoing process.”
“We are a busy working family and things get messy by the weekend. We try to do a family clean and decluttering, sending items to the charity shop or handing clothes down to friends, as part of our routine. My husband can’t stand clutter. I bought him the Kondo book, he read it straight away, and I know he is aching to send it to the charity shop, but I am insisting he holds onto it until I have a chance for a good read of it.”