A vulgar, unsophisticated slice of classic TV Americana
The show: The Ranch, Season 1, Episode 3 The moment: The Cheerios joke
Colt (Ashton Kutcher), a failed semi-pro footballer, has come home to his family’s Colorado ranch to help his father Beau (Sam Elliott) and brother Rooster (Danny Masterson). They’re in their dusty front yard tossing a football. “Rooster, go long,” Colt says. “I know that trick,” Rooster replies. “You tell me to go long, then you run inside and dunk your balls in my Cheerios.”
“It’s dinner,” Colt says. “I’m not gonna dunk my sack in your hot soup. I only make that mistake once.”
I can just see the meeting where this series was concocted.
“What if we did a traditional threecamera sitcom, like Cheers, filmed in front of a live studio audience, but made it potty-mouthed?”
Judging by the audience’s uproarious reaction to the many cracks about testicles, backsides, crabs and this line, after Colt reaches into a cow to deliver a calf — “That’s not the vagina I thought I’d be in tonight” — it’s working.
The Ranch is a big-ole slab of American apple pie. Beau is a rabid conservative. His ex-wife Maggie (who presides over the show’s other set, the local bar) is a liberal hippie. Colt is their man-boy who has to grow up.
But instead of ice cream on top, it opts for bodily fluids, in a strained effort to be modern. The way the audience hoots at groaners like the one where Rooster asks if Beau wants to watch something on Netflix and Beau growls, “What the f--is Netflix?” proves that peak TV isn’t as sophisticated as we think. The Ranch can be seen on Netflix. Johanna Schneller is a media connoisseur who zeroes in on pop-culture moments. She usually appears Monday through Thursday.