For Donald, songs in the key of Trumpyness
Donald Trump loves music, but musicians do not love Donald Trump.
This has been a fly in the tanning lotion since the carroty mogul kicked off his political campaign with “Rockin’ in the Free World,” which nearly gave Neil Young a seizure as a thousand points of light all pointed to cease and desist.
This week, at the carnival sideshow masquerading as the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, the playlist is downright bizarre. “Eminence Front” by The Who? “Station to Station” by David Bowie? “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Baby” by Barry White?
The only way this noise could be more incongruent is if Trump came out in beads and blasted “Give Peace a Chance.”
That’s the problem. There is a disconnect this week between what is heard on the speakers before what is said at the podium.
It’s the reason the Turtles objected to the use of “Happy Together.” Why play that feel-good hit from 1967 — The Summer of Love! — at a time and place where everyone seems so Angry Alone?
Before Melania Trump delivered her speech, earning wide-eyed kudos from global plagiarists, she strode onstage to Queen’s “We Are the Champions.”
The band sighed on and said the “unauthorized use” was “against our wishes.”
No kidding. It’s actually against the wishes of all sentient beings.
For a guy who places a premium on “telling it like it is,” Trump’s musical tastes amount to a pack of lies. From Elton John’s “Rocket Man” to Pavarotti’s “Nessun Dorma,” from Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “The Music of the Night,” his rally tracks fail miserably when it comes to setting a xenophobic mood. They are in the wrong emotional key.
They can’t possibly frame the fear and loathing that abounds when an aspiring tyrant cranks open his pie hole to spew out divisive rhetoric that is delivered in a 4/4 time signature of ego, hubris, delusion and cynical posturing.
But there is good news. Trump can still fix his chronic sonic deceptions. There is still time to thunder one more unauthorized track before his big speech on Thursday night, the brain-blending climax to four days and nights of themed paranoia — Make America Safe Again, Make America Work Again, Make America First Again, Make America One Again — that may well lead to 2017’s Make America Stop Crying Again.
Now is Trump’s chance to harness the power of music and be transparent about his motivations, ambitions, true nature and plans to destroy the free world.
Or at least find a song title that strongly hints at this reality.
Without further ado, A Playlist For The RNC — 50 Truly Trumpy Ditties: 1. “The Great Pretender” — Queen 2. “It’s Hard to Be Humble” — Mac Davis 3. “A Bad Dream” — Keane 4. “Authority Song” — John Mellencamp 5. “Crime of the Century” — Supertramp 6. “Speak English or Die” — Stormtroopers of Death 7. “I Me Mine” — The Beatles 8. “Who’s Gonna Build Your Wall? — Tom Russell 9. “Cult of Personality” — Living Colour 10. “Orange Crush” — R.E.M. 11. “Dazed and Confused” — Led Zeppelin 12. “Demolition Man” — The Police 13. “Fake Empire” — The National 14. “Extreme Ways” — Moby 15. “Illegal Alien” — Genesis 16. “Devil’s Haircut” — Beck 17. “Don’t Fear the Reaper” — Blue Oyster Cult 18. “Everything Must Go” — Manic Street Preachers 19. “Fear of a Black Planet” — Public Enemy 20. “The Fool on the Hill” — Paul McCartney 21. “Freak” — Lana Del Rey 22. “Gimme Back My Bullets” — Lynyrd Skynyrd 23. “Dig Your Grave” — Modest Mouse 24. “I Am Trying to Break Your Heart” — Wilco 25. “The Darker Days of Me & Him” — PJ Harvey 26. “It’s Up To You Now” — The Black Keys 27. “King of Pain” — The Police 28. “Manic Depression” — Jimi Hendrix 29. “Master and Servant” — Depeche Mode 30. Theme from Shaft 31. “Under My Thumb” — The Rolling Stones 32. “I’m Too Sexy” — Right Said Fred 33. “Dictator” — The Clash 34. “Another Brick in the Wall
(Part 2)” – Pink Floyd 35. “Back on the Chain Gang” — The Pretenders 36. “Bad Moon Rising” — Creedence Clearwater Revival 37. “The Man Who Sold the World” — David Bowie 38. “I Started a Joke” — Bee Gees 39. “Scam” — Jamiroquai 40. “A Whiter Shade of Pale” — Procol Harum 41. “Banking on a Myth” — Andrew Bird 42. “Border Song” — Elton John 43. “Carnival” — Natalie Merchant 44. “Creep” — Radiohead 45. “Poison Arrow” — ABC 46. “Poor Misguided Fool” — Starsailor 47. “Real Real Gone” — Van Morrison 48. “Reason Is Treason” — Kasabian 49. “Road to Nowhere” — Talking Heads 50. “Shame” — Matchbox Twenty