Seniors’ tearful reunion goes viral
Photo of couple forced to live in separate care homes after 62 years draws huge response
It’s the saddest photo Ashley Bartyik has ever taken. The image captures her grandparents slumped over in their seats, tissues to their eyes and crying together.
Wolfram Gottschalk, 83, and his wife, Anita, 81, have been married for 62 years, but for the past eight months they have been forced apart in different care facilities as their health deteriorates. They now see each other only a few times each week.
The Surrey, B.C.-based seniors broke hearts around the world yesterday as their story went viral after the image was posted on Bartyik’s Facebook page.
It was love at first sight for Anita and Wolf when they met as teenagers and Bartyik told the Star they hadn’t spent more than a week apart before they were separated last January, after Wolf’s health started to fail.
Now Ashley or her mother, Diana, drive Anita every other day from the Residence at Morgan Heights to see her husband at the Yale Road Centre in North Surrey, roughly 40 minutes away.
Living at Yale Road between stints in the hospital, Wolf is on a waiting list to get into the Residence, which can provide the care both he and Anita need.
Tasleem Juma, a spokesperson for Fraser Health, the regional authority that oversees service and delivery of care, told the Star they’ve been “actively trying” to help, but no beds have become available since Anita moved into The Residence in July.
“We understand how difficult it is for them as a couple and as a family,” said Juma, adding Fraser Health is looking into immediate availability at another facility.
Wolf, who is suffering from dementia, requires more complex care and was diagnosed with lymphoma on Tuesday, said Bartyik. Due to the couple’s differing health needs, they are stuck waiting separately.
This past spring, the B.C. legislature made changes to the Community Care Assisted Living Act, which will increase flexibility for residents to remain in assisted living facilities and delay moving into complex care. The act is still making its way through the legislature.
“Mr. and Mrs. Gottschalk are caught right now in a world where changes are coming but are not here yet,” Isobel Mackenzie, Seniors Advocate for B.C., told the Star. This is a shifting conversation from keeping seniors safe with higher levels of care, to “(explaining) risks and allowing (seniors), to make choices about how (they) want to live. . . . At the end of the day, we’re talking about the quality of life in their final years.”
Despite the dementia, Wolf recognizes Anita and still calls her “my little mouse” in German, a nickname he’s used for more than six decades, Bartyik said.
“He tries to kiss her; he holds her hand and feeds her. He’s very attentive of her and always has been, touching the small of her back or the top of her neck, (giving her) little massages and tickles,” Bartyik said. “With dementia, things can change in a heartbeat. . . . We’re trying to bring some clarity to his day, every day.”
She said her grandparents cry each time they say hello and have to say goodbye. “He pretends there’s something in his eye.”
Bartyik said the separation has taken its toll on her grandmother, too. “She’s always been the light when she walks in the room, but if I showed you a photo from eight months ago, you wouldn’t even recognize her.”
Bartyik, 29, quit her job in July to help her family cope with what she says has become a “devastating situation (where Wolf has been) shuffled around and lost in the cracks.”
Bartyik’s mother, Diana, was the primary caregiver to her ailing parents until her own heart problems rendered her physically and emotionally unable to.
“I’m seeing my family deteriorate right before my eyes,” Bartyik said. “I wish I posted the photo sooner.”
Moved to pull out her phone when she saw the heartbreaking moment, Bartyik put the photo online “begging for help” and advice from others who have navigated B.C.’s senior care system.
Facebook users across the country — and from Europe, South America and the U.S. — reached out to respond.
The reaction has motivated Bartyik to continue to help seniors. “The underfunding and lack of communication . . . is just crazy,” she said. “If this helps even just one more family, it was worth it.”
She said her family won’t stop until Anita and Wolf are reunited.
“He tries to kiss her; he holds her hand and feeds her. He’s very attentive of her and always has been.” ASHLEY BARTYIK ON HER GRANDPARENTS