Don’t rule out mindfulness for stress relief
My family doctor noticed I am very stressed out about all the family issues I have, including caring for my wife who has dementia. He suggested I look into mindfulness. I don’t think I am that type of person. Mindfully Questioning
You are lucky you have someone who is at least thinking of some ways to help you deal with the stressors you have in your life.
About one third of caregivers to dementia patients experience a major depression. Many have elevated anxiety levels and also feel overly stressed. Mindfulness-based approaches have been found to be helpful to cope with this stress.
Mindfulness is rooted in Buddhist spiritual practice. It is often confused with relaxation, but it’s not the same!
Mindfulness is about learning to focus and live in the “now” with intentional awareness. This sounds a bit abstract, but really in our rushed lives and busy routines, many of us do not manage to experience tasks as we do them and merely perform them in an automatic or reactive manner. The practice of mindfulness is used to help us learn to gain awareness and pay attention to our body, thoughts and emotions, and sounds.
The practice is not about trying to restructure your thoughts, fight your inner battles or try to get to settle the rights and wrongs of your life’s stressors.
The idea is to experience how things actually are, versus how you “think” they are or should be, to help you realize that thoughts, sensations and feelings are not permanent. The goal is to be non-judgmental, gain acceptance and pay attention to the present with curiosity.
Like all things in life, mindfulness is not a miracle technique. It takes time and practice, but research shows that it can be effective
The main goal (according to Jon KabatZinn, one of the founders of the modern mindfulness practice) is to learn to respond more directly and effectively to stressors. Living with family issues and someone who has dementia certainly qualifies.
Kabat-Zinn explains that the aim of mindfulness is to nurture an inner balance that allows you to face life situations with greater stability, clarity, understanding and wisdom. This ultimately allows you to respond in a more effective, clear and understanding way. This could help you and your wife as well; and it may ultimately help you deal with your family issues in a more productive way.
Like all things, it’s not a miracle technique. It takes time and practice, but research shows that it can be effective. As people age, it’s even more important to note that reconnecting with our mind and body is key. Illness often makes life challenging. Being self-critical and ruminating on negative thoughts or feelings can make things more difficult.
Janet Murchison, an occupational therapist who leads mindfulness groups at Baycrest Health Sciences, says that people are all too often “distracted by thoughts of the past or the future, worrying about what did, could or should happen, reacting to those scenarios as though they were really happening. While we are lost in thought, we miss the very moment in which we live life.”
She and others are involved in looking at the role of mindfulness among older adults suffering from mood issues. The practices are well-accepted by seniors and seem to hold promise in helping that population deal with the stressors they encounter. Group participants have noted that with some kindness and self-acceptance, they have learned to let go of some of their stress.
No studies have officially demonstrated mindfulness’s impact on caregivers alone, but observations suggest it is helpful. There are many professionally led community programs. You can find them atmindfulnesstoronto.net/mindfulness-courses-toronto/
Trying to do something to help your stress is critical. This may be a good starting point for you. Nira Rittenberg is an occupational therapist who specializes in geriatrics and dementia care at Baycrest Health Sciences Centre and in private practice. She is co-author of Dementia: A Caregiver’s Guide available at baycrest.org/dacg Email questions to caregivingwithnira@baycrest.org