WHAT TO DO WITH . . .
Dismantling wedding plans can be tough. To help minimize stress, industry professionals offer these tips for what to do with each element of un-planning.
The dress: You could sell it, donate it or burn it, Juarez said. She knows women who saved their dress and wore it when they married someone else. As for returns, ask the store about their policies, but if it’s been altered, you often can’t send it back.
The venue: See if the venue will refund your deposit or renegotiate their cancellation policy. If they won’t budge, suggest an alternative use for the space, such as a party. You could also try to find someone else to take over the space on a site such as Kijiji or Craigslist, but vendors can be strict about making changes.
The ring: Under Ontario law, an engagement ring would be treated as a gift that is conditional upon the marriage taking place, said Jason Murphy, a family law lawyer based in Collingwood. That means regardless of who called off the wedding, the ring should legally be returned to the person who gave it, he said.
The photographer: If the photographer has a no-refund policy, ask about repurposing the booking to take photos of friends, or headshots of you, Juarez suggested.
The flowers: If you’re going to lose your deposit, consider alternative uses for your flowers. One idea is to send flowers to the friends who helped you get through the tough times, Juarez said.
The alcohol: Drink it. Not all at once. With cases of wine on hand, you may never have to go to the liquor store again. Or go the sensible route and try to return them.
The gifts: If possible, return the gifts to those who gave them, Hughes said. If you’ve opened the gift, proper etiquette would be to offer the giftgiver the equivalent monetary value, she said. However, some friends may want you to put those gifts and money toward starting your new life, as Aseltine’s friends encouraged her to do.
The future: Surround yourself with a solid support network, Hughes said. Practise radical self-love and selfcare, grieve and move forward with your life, Juarez said.