Toronto Star

Great first date soured by semi-pro photograph­y

- Ellie

I’m a 38-year-old male, been in a few long-term relationsh­ips.

I decided to give online/app dating a go. The women I met were decent. Then I met her. It was a simple coffee date, with a wonderful walk, skipping stones by the lake, sharing our interests, ideas, experience­s. The conversati­on was very natural and fluid, we laughed the whole night.

I quickly realized this person was as beautiful on the inside as much as she was on the outside. It was the best date I ever had.

At the end of the night I walked her home and we exchanged two long hugs and agreed to see each other again.

We texted each other the next morning and chatted for a short while. I knew she had weekend plans so I thought it’d be best to give her space and follow up Monday to plan our second date. That day we talked about our past weekend.

She asked for my best picture . . . thinking I sent her one I’d taken a while back, it has been in a few local magazines and can be found online (I’m an avid photograph­er).

I didn’t hear from her for a day. When she replied, she had the impression I lied about the pic and it wasn’t mine.

She wished me all the best! I was shocked. Is it worth reaching out to her? It’s pretty easy to show her the proof, but I don’t want to look desperate.

She just doesn’t want to be misled and I can respect that.

I disabled my dating account to show she had my undivided attention.

Then I decided to just get back on the horse.

Since her text, I’ve met a couple of people and all I think about is her.

It seems odd, but after one date my heart doesn’t want to give up and potentiall­y throw away a great thing over something so trivial. Confused

There’s something confusing in this account. It seemed you were going to send a photo about your weekend.

Then you sent this semi-pro pic that turned her off. Maybe she thought you were too full of yourself, or maybe there was something in the image that got to her, i.e. where it was taken, what you were wearing . . . who knows?

Still, follow your heart and try to reach her.

Apologize for having upset her. Tell her how much you wish for a second chance to show your sincerity.

It may be too much too soon for her . . . after all, you don’t know what in her past has made her so leery of a rush.

But it’s worth a try. So long as you don’t overwhelm her or keep after her if she says she’s just not interested. I was recently in hospital for two months and when I came home, I found my wife had given to her sister-in-law my 5000kW generator, my bicycle, a table-saw and a stash of booze I was storing to give to my friends for Christmas. Am I right to be angry? Missing Items

Oh, no! You don’t get to draw my readers or me into that setup for further outrage, blame and whoknows-what reaction.

There’s a back-story you’re leaving out and I’m guessing you two have bigger problems than this give-away of your things.

If you’re willing to open up and seek advice, I’ll be happy to respond.

Meanwhile, calmly ask your wife what her reasons were for her actions, if you don’t already know. Informatio­n is a first step toward understand­ing. Tip of the day Showing off can turn off a potential romance. Read Ellie Monday to Saturday. Email ellie@thestar.ca or visit her website, ellieadvic­e.com. Follow @ellieadvic­e.

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