Toronto Star

Trying to sniff out solutions to body odour

- Ellie

I’m 33, male, single and have noticeable body odour.

I shower twice daily, have no disease or organ dysfunctio­n. I want to hide when I perspire. I work in a warehouse and suffer merciless teasing from coworkers.

I’ve seen two doctors, but neither helped me.

I stopped eating sardines (my favourite fish) and the odour subsided a little.

I read a diet suggestion to eliminate coffee and animal foods, but after three months it’s not helping.

I’m hoping readers will offer suggestion­s how they’ve coped with this problem or, better, ended it. Smell Problem

Kudos to you for reaching out for help! Your clothing materials, personal metabolism, internal toxins, and/or garlic intake may be suspect. The search for an answer is on. I felt like my 13-year marriage started our “spring time.” But when we came to our new country, we had to find jobs and also take care of our young son. My husband worked full-time, and I worked from home.

We realized that going back to school might be a better option, taking turns to help each other. We worked hard to buy our dream house while studies were postponed. With our second child’s birth, winter entered our marriage. My husband got laid off so he could pursue his studies fulltime.

It was my turn to help financiall­y with a long-hours shift job, even working weekends. I was sleep-deprived and my health was very affected.

After he started a job, I took long-distance courses, making a bigger distance between us.

Our big mistake was investing so much time in children/future plans that we became like strangers busy in different directions.

Soon I reached my life crisis. I felt close to a colleague and poured my heart out to him.

Earlier, he’d sent indirect messages about why he helped me so much.

Yet I also saw the guy as deceiving me, and spreading personal things about me, some of them untrue. I decided to work out my marriage, though the new guy still seemed mysterious to me. It was hard to push away my feelings, which developed.

We didn’t date outside work, but my honour was damaged by gossip. I even had depression.

I didn’t separate, as my husband tried so hard to save our marriage. He knows that I cannot say I love him and he’s OK with that, also for the sake of our two children.

Unfortunat­ely, all my deep feelings are still for somebody that hurt me and had volatile moods I couldn’t rely on.

I still cry often and my heart’s still broken.

I work in a different place and I am trying to concentrat­e better at work. Am I hoping in vain for another spring time in my marriage? Wanting Renewal

You need to go beyond “hope,” and do the work that’s needed to repair a marriage.

It involves more than recounting your challenges, hard work, financial stresses, etc.

It requires owning what part you contribute­d to the distance from your husband and the emotional affair with your colleague. The latter was workplace fantasy. If your husband were the one who “can’t say I love you,” would you accept that?

He’s been a steady partner in all the phases of your marriage which you both insisted on striving toward.

Since it was a “mistake” to put no time into your life as a couple, do so now.

Get counsellin­g together to rebuild your relationsh­ip, and recognize what you actually accomplish­ed together.

Give “spring” another chance. Tip of the day Body odour is a no-joke matter to those who can’t find a solution. Read Ellie Monday to Saturday. Email ellie@thestar.ca or visit her website, ellieadvic­e.com. Follow @ellieadvic­e.

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