Aging parents need plan to avoid social isolation
My parents are both 85 and live fairly independently. Mom has some memory issues, but does well overall. The biggest problem is that they hardly have any friends left due to illness, death and people moving away. I try to support them, but find it is hard since they are alone so much. Options please Living a long life comes with various challenges and this loss is yet another one. The loss of friends, family and social structures is very difficult and painful. As people live longer, it is not uncommon for me to see them more isolated and grieving the loss of socialization with departed friends. Many individuals feel that they have few outlets or social options left.
Add to this mobility challenges, cognitive changes and access to online social networks, and one’s opportunities to get out and socialize diminish as you age.
Children often feel the social stress of trying to help their parents and expectations of becoming a social partner is difficult for many given the sandwich generation itself is caught between raising their own children and dealing with their busy careers, explains Baycrest Social Worker Peggy Solomon.
One need not be resigned to this status and as a caregiver you can use some of your time and energy to try to help your parents get connected to new people and places. This is a good investment on many levels.
An important hurdle to overcome is transportation. Some social programs have this service built-in. It is critical to figure this step out, as it can become a major deterrent or stumbling block.
Are your parents able to negotiate the public transportation system? If physical or cognitive issues are present, Wheel-Trans, or local agen- cy transportation may be needed. Organizing this takes some effort to initiate; but there are many community ride options offered at reduced rates. Ask at your local health service for transportation lists.
The next challenge is matching community services to the individual. It is critical to ascertain what level of support, assistance and structure is needed. There are laterlife courses, fitness programs and art activities given through many local community recreation centres. Day programs offer more support and supervision, and there are programs with special supports for those with impairment. Another good place to investigate is your local religious institution. They have programs geared at older adults and often have a strong network of volunteers. Speaking of which, becoming a volunteer as a senior can open social doors as well. The simple act of going out of the house and interacting allows you to meet people.
Libraries, museums and galleries run programs for retired individuals and it is also possible to take on some late-life learning in postsecondary institutions. One question is to ask what previous interests the individual had that may have been dormant for a while. Why not reconnect with prior enjoyment?
The starting point is getting out and venturing into a new domain. Many people find this hard, as they yearn for old networks and friends.
Family is important and support from adult children and grandchildren can fill some of the gap, but it is not the same as a peer group. Since social interaction is known to be one of the keys to healthy aging, this is a focus that is worth the investment. Nira Rittenberg is an occupational therapist who specializes in geriatrics and dementia care at Baycrest Health Sciences Centre and in private practice. She is co-author of Dementia A Caregiver’s Guide available at baycrest.org/ dacg Email questions to caregivingwithnira@baycrest.org