Most eccentric beach party in America
Interstate Mullet Toss revolves around throwing dead fish, not bad haircuts
PENSACOLA, FLA.— There are supposedly at least three successful techniques to throwing a very dead mullet — the fish, not the bad haircut — down the sugar-white beach toward the Alabama state line at the Interstate Mullet Toss.
Scrunch it in one hand and act like a baseball player, hook your fingers into the gills or whip it by its tail. Do not throw like a girl unless you want to be taunted by the rowdy mob splayed out on beach chairs.
I can’t explain why I screwed up, only that I picked the gill technique and threw like a girl while trying to be a “celebrity tosser.” It was such a lousy toss that I did the walk of shame to get my mullet back to the water cooler before the measurement guys recorded my distance for the official score.
“Way to represent Canada,” teased the emcee. “I’ve been here 22 years and that’s the worst throw I’ve seen in my life.” To the next contestant, he posed this challenge: “I hope you beat the Toronto lady. It’s going to be tough.” She actually failed.
It’s better to flame out and spark a running joke than do a garden-variety bad job. Actually, it’s worth noting that Matt Claxton advised me to do the gill throw, saying: “If you lose, you can name me. I’m good with being associated with losers.”
The unabashedly quirky mullet toss is both ridiculously popular and blissfully under-the-radar. It’s the brainchild of the co-owners of the Flora-Bama Lounge, Package, and Oyster Bar, a honky-tonk and “cultural landmark” on the Florida side of the Alabama border and a short drive from Gulf Shores and Orange Beach where I pursued more wholesome outdoor activities.
To help the business through shoulder season, people have gathered for three days on the last full weekend of April for 33 years to toss mullets at Alabama. It seems a little rude, but a good-natured Alabaman escorted me, saying, “We try not to take it as an insult.” We showed up just before noon and ducked out before dark so mingled with kids, families and revellers of all shapes, sizes and ages.
I can’t speak to what happens after 5:30 p.m., when you have to be 21 to legally stay in the bar, but I can share some words of wisdom that I gathered by day.
“Do it with us on the line,” read one saucy T-shirt.
“Make the mullet great again,” implored another with a picture of a mullet-headed U.S. President Donald Trump.
“Be the fish,” was the crowd’s favourite chant to mullet toss contestants.
“Run like Baywatch,” the emcee cheekily urged pretty, female tossers. To the handsome ex-Navy SEAL from American Sniper, the emcee had nothing but respect, it should be noted, and even his full-blown mock- ing was pretty kind.
“Throws like a man but runs like a girl,” was the harshest jab I heard.
“Honey, this is the mullet toss, not the mullet bowl,” came up a lot, along with: “Bowling isn’t till next week, honey. We’re mullet bowling next week.”
For those who are wondering about the mullets, they’re bought (dead) from a local fishery, used by multiple contestants, fed to the gulls or donated to the zoo.
The 33rd annual Interstate Mullet Toss & Gulf Coast’s Greatest Beach Party (its mouthful of a name) is also a fundraiser. There’s an entrance fee and 2,000 people tossed mullets this year, paying $15 to compete in 14 categories and raising $40,000 for youth charities.
The Flora-Bama family of businesses includes a yacht club, beach and marina across the street from the Flora-Bama Lounge. The real ac- tion is at the lounge complex, which hosts a non-denominational church service on Sundays.
For the mullet toss, there are multiple music stages (one is under a bunch of bras tossed over ropes), Mr. Mullet Toss and bikini contests, a killer taco truck, a pop-up barbershop for those desperately seeking real mullets, a liquor room that pumps booze to all the bars, and bushwhackers.
Go easy on the bushwhackers, my Alabaman friend advised. They’re a secret blend of five kinds of alcohol and milk served frozen in a clear plastic cup with a maraschino cherry on top.
When you go to the loo, find the one beside the wall of lyrics to the Kenny Chesney song Flora-Bama spelled out in old licence plates. The country star did a free concert here in 2014 and earned some serious devotion.
I didn’t win the mullet toss, but I earned a souvenir T-shirt and splurged on a few mullet bottle openers. And when one of the outlaw country bands that performed under those bras said “Happy mullet toss, y’all,” I shouted “Happy mullet toss, y’all” right back and vowed to spread the word. Jennifer Bain was hosted by Gulf Shores and Orange Beach Tourism, which didn’t review or approve this story.