#MeToo must stay strong in new year
#MeToo: “I was 19, starting university, recently dumped by my high school sweetheart.
“My residence invited boys from a military university to a dance. I was lonely and nervous.
“One good-looking boy asked me to dance repeatedly. I enjoyed the attention. The room was hot, I wanted to change out of my long-sleeved dress.
“I innocently invited the military guy to come upstairs while I changed in the hall bathroom. “He waited in my dorm room. “When I returned, he threw me on the bed and tried to rape me. I kept screaming but everyone was out. “The phone in my room rang and he got off me. I stayed on the phone and ordered him to leave my room.
“He did but called the next day to ask me out! He thought he’d done nothing wrong!
“I’m still ashamed.” #MeToo: “I was 10. My 14-year-old brother asked me to come into his room.
“He was naked and playing with his penis. He asked me to help him and he showed me how to stroke and ‘jerk’ him.
“Loving, trusting and looking up to my ‘big brother,’ I followed his instructions . . . which, although I thought it was strange, I did. “He then asked me to put my mouth on it, which I firmly refused.
“I never spoke about this to my parents, nor to my brother.
“At 65 now, I still remember and am still scarred by the fact that my own brother would take advantage and sexually abuse me.
“Please feel free to print this message to educate parents and children of the potential sexual abuse within the ‘trusted’ family network, and to feel that it’s all right to speak up and say ‘NO!’ ” #MeToo: “At 13, I endured an assault outside in daylight, among classmates.
“My pleasure in wearing a blouse with pretty rows of ruffled fabric down the front turned to stunned anguish when a nun ran her fingers back and forth several times across my chest. “I didn’t tell anyone, not even my mom. “At 15, I went to the garment district to look at winter coats. A man, much older than my dad, said there was a way for me to get a coat that I liked, for free.
“I said that my parents would never let me accept a coat for free and got out of there, fast.” #MeToo: “I was a high school student going home by bus in rush hour in a big city. Passengers were packed like sardines in a can.
“Suddenly I felt somebody getting even closer by my back and I secured my backpack from any potential thief.
“It was not a thief. He got too close and rubbed by me until I felt something was very inappropriate.
“I tried to move but was unable to until the next bus station.
“Maybe I should’ve shouted but I didn’t and after that I felt so humiliated, ashamed and speechless.
“Somebody you don’t even see or know thinks he has a right to do what pleases himself.
“I couldn’t forget this even if I tried.” #MeToo: “I was 15 or 16. An art teacher leaned over to correct my pencil drawing. He cupped his hand around my breast. I was surprised, shocked.
“I squeezed my arms together to try to get him off me. No one noticed. It was such a skilled manoeuvre.
“I was so naïve. He always asked girls to help him in his stock cupboard at recess.” Tip of the day A new year’s resolution — the #MeToo movement against sexual assault and sexual harassment continues and strengthens. Read Ellie Monday to Saturday. Email ellie@thestar.ca or visit her website, ellieadvice.com. Follow @ellieadvice.