CITATION PLEASE

Who said what this week

“I’m absolutely devastated by the messages that I’ve sent and the distress I’ve caused by those messages.”

Jo Marney, now ex-girlfriend of the UK Independence Party’s leader, on racist messages about Meghan Markle

“Some people have just great genes. I told the president that if he had a healthier diet over the last 20 years, he might live to be 200 years old.”

Dr. Ronny Jackson reports on Donald Trump’s physical examination

“With the president being six-foot-three and 239 pounds, according to the body mass index by the Federal Health and Human Services Department, Trump is overweight and just one pound shy of obesity. One pound short of being obese — that’s awfully convenient. ‘Listen, Doc, I feel like this wad of cash is about one pound, why don’t you take that off my hands and weigh me again?’ ”

The Late Show’s Stephen Colbert

“I should get in the backseat and close my mouth for a while.”

Actor Matt Damon apologizing after backlash to his questionable comments about the #MeToo movement

“Loneliness is a sad reality of modern life.”

British Prime Minister Theresa May on the appointment of the country’s first-ever minister to combat isolation

“I remember specific cuss words being used by a variety of members.”

Homeland Security Chief Kirstjen Nielsen deflecting questions at a Senate Judiciary Committee about the language Trump used to characterize African and Central American countries in a meeting on immigration