LINKEDIN LETDOWNS
Try not to take it personally when your messages go unanswered, Manners 2.0,
I am trying to connect with someone using LinkedIn and they keep blowing off my messages. How many do I send before I just take a hint?
That’s a tricky question because their disinterest might have everything to do with LinkedIn and nothing to do with you. Or, maybe they are just really busy and behind in checking that inbox. I find that I get so spammed through LinkedIn (well, most social media platforms, if I’m honest) that I regularly glaze over legitimate messages. So if you’ve sent one message and haven’t heard back, assuming that it was well written and warranted a reply, don’t fret. Wait a few weeks then send one more message referencing that it is in followup to your message a few weeks back. Then, you’ve got to let it go. If you ever bump into them in person, they might remember you as the person who sent them six messages on LinkedIn. Should you admit that you don’t remember meeting someone, or just go with “Nice to see you” just to be safe? I am famously and irreparably bad with names. I have tried a few strategies that work (a bit), but know this will forever plague me. So I feel you. This happens a lot to me. I think that even the best cover up can be sniffed out. Honesty is the best policy. If you are drawing a blank on someone that you’ve (allegedly) already been introduced to, just own that blank. Say you’re sorry and that you’re brutal with names. Maybe they’ll kindly jog your memory on where you met so that you can put it together and say “OOOOOOHHH! Of course I remember meeting you at such-and-such!” It happens. And some self-deprecating humour is always a good balm. When I can’t place someone, which happens at least a few times a month, I joke (with a good dose of honesty) that ever since I turned 25 my memory isn’t what it used to be. Which is getting truer every year! I friended my boss’s personal Facebook account. He let the request sit there for weeks and I KNOW he’s on Facebook all day long. So I blocked him. Now he’s emailed me asking where the request went and wanting to friend me. What should I do? Why did you add your boss on Facebook? They are the boss, they get to do the requesting! Alas, you can do this halfway. Here’s how:
Log on to good old Facebook. Unblock him. Add him as a friend then if he accepts (maybe he’ll let it sit in “friend request purgatory” for a long time, just to make you squirm), set your privacy notifications so he sees a very professional representation of you. On the bottom right of your cover photo you’ll see three little dots, “view as.” You can type in his name and you’ll see exactly what he’ll see if he checks out your profile. Etiquette expert Karen Cleveland answers your questions about life online.