Should I stay with clients on a trip?

I am travelling with some clients for work and they booked accommodations. They booked a house on Airbnb with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. I’m a woman, they are both men. They’re great guys and we get along well, but is this a bit weird? We’ll each have our own room but there will be inevitable cross over in the washrooms, kitchen and living room. Am I being old school?

I love Airbnb and it has added so much to my travel experiences, but when it comes to travelling for work, we need some elbow room. It can be draining to be “on” in front of a client all day long. When the day winds down, it’s nice to be able to let that go. Let’s be honest, even during downtime, you’re still sort of on for your client. You’re not as likely to really kick back and order what you want to eat and watch what you want to watch. That said, it might be awkward to ask to revisit accommodations if they are already booked. Roll with it this time, but the next time travel plans come up, jump in with some suggestions so you can each have your own room.

In the meantime, book some time to unwind on this upcoming trip. Plan a meal with someone while you’re in town (or dine solo, if you need some time to unwind), and book a massage. Having a few things banked for yourself will ease the load of having to entertain your clients the entire trip. I was invited to the wedding of a cousin that I don’t really keep in touch with. We didn’t fall out, we just haven’t spoken in about 10 years. I don’t plan on attending the wedding, but do I need to send a gift?

Well, you don’t need to do anything, but sending something is a nice touch. After all, this cousin must think enough of you that you made the cut for the guest list. And, you have a full year until after the wedding to send something, so time is on your side. A card takes very little effort but still sends your congratulations. Flowers are lovely, as is a gift certificate for a restaurant in their area. You can still send your best wishes to the couple if you can’t attend the wedding — and it definitely doesn’t have to break the bank. My husband and I stayed with some of his old university friends out of town. We were in town for a birthday party and spent the weekend. I think we should send something to the couple that hosted us, but my husband thinks it is overkill, since they couchsurfed together for years. Who is right?

You’re right, of course, but that’s besides the point. There is no rule that you must send something to thank people that have hosted you, though there’s no denying that it is a nice thing to do.

Think of it this way: what if you don’t? Well, you might appear aloof or ungrateful. If you do send something, you’ll only give one impression, and that is being grateful. Overkill of kindness doesn’t factor in here. Absolutely no harm can come from sending something, but there is some risk in sending nothing at all. If your husband thinks it is silly or overkill, is there something better he has in mind? I don’t know, a delivery of craft beer to his former couchsurf buddy?

Send something, anything, to say thank you. Etiquette expert Karen Cleveland answers your questions about life online. Email her your questions: karen@mannersaresexy.com