Kindness to strangers has a cut-off point

I donate regularly to many street animal feeding, spay/ neuter, medical care and adoption enterprises in Europe and Asia.

Last spring I was contacted online by a young man who said that he was rescuing cats in the streets of Cairo. He asked me to send him some money because he had to travel out of Cairo to find work. I sent him a small amount. The next month he wanted more because he hadn’t found work and needed money to live. He said he had no family and his friends couldn’t help him. The next month he said he was hit by a car and his leg was broken. He couldn’t work and needed money.

Next, his leg wasn’t healing properly and he needed money for medical tests and medicine. I have no way of knowing whether he’s scamming me or if his need is genuine. I’m by no means in a financial position to support him and have told him so. Should I keep helping him with small amounts or cut him off? Uncertain Donor You’ve done enough. Your kindness to a total stranger has been exemplary.

However, you have no certainty that he’s been telling the truth, and you can’t afford to support him indefinitely.

Unfortunately, there have been far too many internet scams played on good-hearted people like you to not need to question whether this is the case too.

What’s typical of such scams is this man’s continuing and escalating needs.

Tell him you wish him well but have had some financial difficulties of your own and can no longer send money.

Since you can’t keep up responding to his demands, this is not really a lie.

Then end contact. Reader’s Commentary: “My husband and I are almost 59. Every month we host a dinner and games night with our adult children and their significant others.

“We used to cook everything, then one person suggested a pot luck with everyone contributing.

“Every month we have a different food theme — ‘Italian,’ ‘Korean,’ ‘tasty glutenfree,’ etc.

“I decorate the table in the theme, mostly using Dollar Store finds, and play music fitting the theme.

“After dinner, we play games and/or go for a walk on the nearest trail.

“We have a lot of laughs on these family nights. I see us continuing to do this as grandchildren come along. We’ll have pop-up cots and playpens for them.

“We may change our gettogethers to the afternoon.

“We may have to go to them, so that their kids can sleep in their beds.

“We’ll adapt to whatever comes up and have regular family plans so that everyone knows that this family spends time together.

“Grandparents need to reach out and let their children know that they miss them.

“It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate, just a chance to spend some time in one another’s lives.

“If grandkids live close enough, grandparents can ask to be advised of important sports and arts events in which the children are participating.

“They can show up once a month or so. There are always ways to reach out and start new family traditions.

“Chances are, the adult kids and grandkids have busy lives and just don’t have the time or the willingness to take the initiative.

“And grandparents can also let their children know that as they grew older, they’ve thought about what’s most important and meaningful in life.” Ellie: Wonderful examples of being proactive and keeping family get-togethers welcoming, fun and adaptive to everyone’s needs. Tip of the day End contact with a suspected online scammer.