Date didn’t make a connection
Dan is a 51-year-old producer who lives on the Danforth. He says, “My style is clean-shaven with short hair. I fluctuate between comfortable, casual shirts and jeans and more spruced up in a suit.” Dan’s friends would describe him as “polite, quiet and introspective.
He says “I like to socialize with my friends over a couple of beers. I like cooking, reading, movies, music, concerts, theatre, documentaries and working out.” Dan has been single for “too long, way too long.” He says he is looking for someone “intelligent, with a great sense of humour. Bright eyes and a great smile go a long way, too.”
Trying to meet someone with whom I’m compatible is very difficult. It’s a lonely, daunting, frustrating task. But here I am, trying my best to get out there, being real and vulnerable enough to potentially connect with someone.
It seems that other people have it easier in this way. Is it their looks? Charm? Wit? Social activities? I don’t really know.
I’m at a point where I feel a void in my life. I really want to meet someone.
One day as I was in the kitchen making a sandwich, an opening line came to me for a new online-dating profile. I immediately sat down and posted it. In the profile, I was direct and open and included my real feelings about online dating and how challenging it can be.
A day later, I got a message from Jacqueline. She gave me her number. I had the impression that she also found it difficult to find someone compatible. She had a great smile. Things with her were off to a good start.
We messaged back and forth. It was all very hopeful and encouraging. What I liked about Jacqueline is that she was sincere. There was no artifice or pretense whatsoever. I found that to be really appealing.
It wasn’t long before Jacqueline wanted to meet me in person and asked me out. I was surprised that she wanted to meet so quickly, but I agreed.
I find that women meeting guys online are usually wary. Very cautious. So for her to want to meet me after only three days of correspondence was surprising.
I was excited, but I did notice that Jacqueline used a lot of short-forms and some misspelled words, in her texts. I was worried about that, in case her messages were indicative of her communication skills in general.
I still agreed to meet her because I thought I should allow this to be a life experience. Live and learn. You never know unless you try. Yadda yadda yadda.
We set a date for that coming Friday. I chose a bar near my place. When I arrived, I found Jacqueline standing inside the vestibule by the front door. She had an uneasy, anxious expression on her face. I wondered why she wouldn’t just take a seat inside and wait for me, but I guess she was more comfortable this way.
Extending my hand as I approached her, I introduced myself. As she shook my hand, her expression relaxed. Her beautiful smile emerged. We found a seat and made small talk as we ordered drinks. I have to admit, I didn’t feel entirely at ease with Jacqueline. I knew that she wasn’t “it” for me. It wasn’t her fault.
The fact of the matter is that I have strong feelings for another woman, who I can’t be with right now. She’s smart, funny, a good sport, educated, hardworking, loves animals. Any other woman that I meet will pale in comparison.
We talked and learned about each other’s families, friends, jobs and health issues. We talked about local politics, gardening and cooking. She was a down-toearth person, family-oriented, kind. I could see in her eyes that she was genuinely sweet.
However, I found that the conversation wasn’t particularly great. A conversation flows when it has a certain emotional ease about it. I found myself ac- tively having to think of new things to talk about, which isn’t ideal.
There was no “love connection.” We just didn’t click. I think deep inside we both knew this, even though I’m pretty sure Jacqueline dropped some hints about possibly seeing each other again. But, chemistry is a strange, multi-faceted thing. It encompasses both the physical attraction and the intellectual attraction and overall compatibility. You can’t force it.
There was no follow-up contact after the date. I’m back to that familiar aftermath of feeling frustrated and alone.
My time with Jacqueline was nice, but the heart wants what it wants.
Dan rates his date (out of 10): 7 Want to be a dating diarist? Email datingdiariescontact@gmail.com