Don’t butter your dad up
This Father’s Day, skip this Longo’s present of flowing saturated fat
Nothing tells Dad you love him like a butter fountain.
That’s what Longo’s is promoting for Father’s Day on June 17.
The supermarket chain is offering a $500 prize of New Brunswick lobsters with an endless flow of butter sauce from a repurposed chocolate fountain.
The home-dining prize, which is part of Lobsterfest June 15 and 16, can be won through a social media contest (butterfountain.com) with the hashtag #ButterDadUp. It is not sold in stores.
There are so many things wrong with a butter fountain.
First of all, the colour. This butter is as white as milk. That’s because Longo’s mixes cream and fish stock into the burbling butterfat.
Secondly, as important as but- ter is to many cuisines, it is not fountain worthy. Chocolate is. So is champagne.
Even a nacho cheese fountain at a quirky wedding is understandable.
Yet Longo’s chef Tony Cammalleri developed the butter fountain with “patented Total Coating Technology” to ensure each lobster chunk reaches maximal butter-to-seafood ratio.
The thing is, lobster doesn’t need butter sauce to taste good. It is perfection on its own, much like fresh shucked oys- ters don’t need horseradish. Then there’s the health aspect. “It’s time to upgrade the usual gifts of socks, golf balls or barbecue tools with an injection of good taste,” say Longo’s promotional materials.
Gifting the father in your life with free-flowing saturated fat is a terrible dining idea, right up there with tempting fate by eating blowfish.
Unless the butter fountain comes with an automatic defibrillator, it’s a hard pass.
Trust me, your father will thank you.