Exhibition lifts veil on Jewish wedding traditions
Photo collection celebrates marriage rituals that have both changed and remained
Back in the days when Bunny and Jetta Bergstein got married, most Jewish couples would hold their weddings in synagogues and sign a ketubah, similar to a marriage contract, in front of a rabbi.
The event would also include a bedeken, the veiling ceremony, where the groom places a veil over the bride just before the marriage rites.
“Those were the natural things to do, no questions asked about anything. That’s how you did it,” said Jetta, 90, who met her husband at a Jewish summer camp in Pickering in 1942.
But Jewish wedding traditions have changed — and some have been lost — since the Canadian-born couple married in Toronto’s Bais Yehuda Synagogue on June 1, 1949.
To remember and celebrate some of the old Jewish wedding customs and rituals, the Ontario Jewish Archives is hosting a free photo exhibition, Something Borrowed, at the Miles Nadal Jewish Community Centre until Aug. 29 to showcase images and documents from the first decades of the 20th century to the present day.
“The subject of weddings is an interesting one that connects people across time. Everyone can relate to the element whether they are Jewish or not,” said the show’s curator, Faye Blum, who sifted through thousands of wedding photos from the archives and researched the images for the exhibit. “Everyone has a story. These images demonstrate how people in the community lived and continue to live.”
The show explores different themes with such titles as “Love at First Sight,” “Shared Values,” “Bridal Party,” “Wedding Album” and “The Ceremony.” It displays photos from highly formal, early 20th-century photo studio sessions to glamorous 1940s bridal portraits that capture what are often the most significant and joyous moments of one’s life.
Among the photos donated from the archives were images of the Bergsteins’ wedding.
“The evening was full of thrill and excitement. We were engaged for three years so we could save enough money to start a family, and we were finally allowed to get married,” recalled Jetta, a retired school teacher, who was wearing a high-collared wedding gown they bought for $30 at the time.
Although the Bergsteins’ son, Gary, married a Jewish woman, Sheryl, and had their wedding in a temple, their two granddaughters both married outside of the community and had secular weddings. “The Jewish generations today are quite different than our generation. Back in our day, it was rare to marry non-Jews. But more important now is for our grandchildren and great-grandchildren to live a good life and be happy,” said Bunny Bergstein, 94, a retired annuity broker.
“The photo exhibition is a great idea because it shows how our people lived so many years ago. It’s all part of our history.”
The night before her wedding on July 24, 1994, Esther Osiel wore the same decorated velvet gown worn by her mother, grandmother and other women in her family for their Noche de Novia or henna night as part of the Sephardic Jewish cultural traditions. On that occasion, she received traditional prayers and a circular henna marking on her hand as a blessing
“I like the idea of the tradition of it, wearing the dress that everyone in the family had worn, the continuity of that,” said the 54-year-old Toronto psychometrist, whose family moved here from Morocco before her birth. Her husband, Errol Singer, was born in Canada to South African immigrant parents. “Many Jewish people came here with nothing, with no family mementos from the past. Having that something that links you to the past is very important,” added Osiel, whose wedding photos are also part of the exhibition.
Images featured in the show represent Jews from diverse backgrounds including Roslyn and Howard English, who married on Aug. 25, 1970 and raised their three daughters and one son as Orthodox. All their children had Orthodox weddings as well. “The continuity of Jewish people is very important to us. Those who don’t marry Jewish have a greater tendency to stray from Jewish traditions. It’s more than our hope but our expectation that (our children and grandchildren) will choose a traditional form of life,” said Howard English, 69.
“A wedding is a central event in Jewish life. These religious traditions tell us the bride and groom are reborn on the day of their wedding. Everything in the past was the past and they will start a new life together not in a cliche way.”