Why vetoing wife’s personal style is a bad look for Prince Harry
A strange sub-genre of royal media coverage has bubbled up this month that might be described as “Things Meghan Markle Is Banned From Doing.”
Behold some recent headlines: “Meghan Markle Wasn’t Allowed To Wear Her Hat At Wimbledon.” “Why Meghan Markle Can’t Have a Baby Shower If She Gets Pregnant.” “Meghan Markle May No Longer Be Allowed To Eat Her Favourite Food.” “Meghan Markle Has To Follow This Bedtime Rule When With The Queen.” “Why Meghan Markle Isn’t Allowed To Have A Political Opinion.”
Two months into her fairy tale life, there are more restrictions on the Duchess of Sussex than on a detainee at Gitmo. Markle traded the absolute freedom of Hollywood celebrity for the suffocating protocols of British monarchy. Day after day, it’s like watching a mute songbird slink across a tightrope and voluntarily flutter back into a gilded cage instead of just flying away. Smile and nod, Princess. Smile and nod. Things Markle used to take for granted — eating garlic, holding a teacup by the base, crossing her legs, varnishing her nails with dark polish, voting, baring her shoulders, sharing her views on abortion, laughing uproariously, taking a selfie, posting on Instagram, shopping in flats, texting in public, going for a jog by herself, signing autographs, layering clunky necklaces, wearing a short skirt, dancing with friends, antiquing in ripped jeans, enjoying her autonomy — are now verboten.
But even if I’m tempted to launch a Free Meghan campaign and start crowdfunding to pay for a team of exmilitary specialists to extract her from Adelaide Cottage and bring her back to Toronto, the truth is she knew what she was getting into. She knew the deal. The downside of a royal marriage is the loss of independence. The cost of regal fame and riches is commoner liberty and self-determination.
Markle is now part of an ensemble cast and ad-libbing is forbidden.
But the key word in all of this is “marriage,” which is why I must now strongly advise Prince Harry to give his bearded head a violent shake.
It’s one thing for Markle to endure the rules and etiquette imposed on her by uptight in-laws and centuries of esoteric tradition. But it’s quite another for Markle to sit in Kensington Palace meetings with a “special projects team,” as the Daily Mail reported this weekend, and get the “thumbs-down” from stylists and her husband after allegedly expressing interest in donning “a masculine Stella McCartney tuxedo suit” during the couple’s upcoming tour of Australia.
According to the newspaper, “Prince Harry, perhaps sailing towards dangerous marital waters, has expressed his views over his wife’s latest test of royal convention after she ordered a range of designer suits — and even a tuxedo — to wear during their October trip.”
If this story is not fake news — if Prince Harry is really second-guessing his bride’s fashion sense — he is not “perhaps sailing toward dangerous marital waters.” He is on Jet Skis and getting dragged by a cigarette boat at 80 knots toward the whitewater rapids of looming divorce.
It doesn’t matter if your wife is a powerful executive, a barista, a chemist, a marketer, a soccer mom, an actuarial or the Duchess of Sussex: if she asks for feedback on something she is wearing, or planning to wear, there is but one correct answer.
“How do I look in this?” is not a question that requires deep thought.
“You look amazing!” is the only response.
Markle is already up to her weary eyes with insane rules. She probably has nightmares about leaving her castle sans pantyhose. The last thing she needs is her husband adding his two pence and pooh-poohing proposed formal wear. Between the chafing rubrics of her new life and the ongoing antics of the estranged family from her old life, what Meghan needs from Harry is unconditional support.
That’s it. It’s that simple.
Just smile and nod, Prince. Smile and nod.
“What’s that, my love? You want to wear a tinfoil jumpsuit with neon pasties and a crash-test-dummy helmet when we visit Sydney? Brilliant! You look amazing!”
So forget the “Things Meghan Markle Is Banned From Doing.” If anything, every married man within a 50-km radius of Nottingham Cottage should present Prince Harry with a scroll of things he can’t do. It would be a short list with one theme.
“Your Royal Highness, you are hereby banned from offering sartorial advice to your new wife. You must never veto an outfit or reject an accessory or scrutinize her heels. You must never take a position on anything she wants to wear.”
Prince Harry was born into the royal family. Meghan Markle was not.
If he’s not firmly on her side, he may one day see the back of her taking flight.